Here the stranger paused, and we shortly became interested to such a
degree in the sorrows of Belvidera, that we know not what further
remarks he communicated, nor at what time he ceased to be our companion.
As the curtain fell we looked round, and he was no longer by our side.
ON A CERTAIN AGE.
“Tempora certa.”--HOR.
We happened the other day to be present at a small party, where, being
almost entire strangers ourselves, we had little to do but to listen to
and reflect upon what was said by others. While we were engaged in this
occupation, we heard one expression repeated several times, which made a
strong impression upon us, and induced us to draw up the following
treatise.
We first heard some gentlemen observing that it was quite proper for
Mrs.---- to withdraw from the stage in time, for that she was now of a
“certain age.” Immediately afterwards we heard it remarked by Mrs.
Racket, that it was lucky for Maria the Nabob had proposed in time, for
the lady must be of a “certain age.” Now, as the former of these objects
had seen fifty winters, of which the latter fell short by at least
twenty, it was natural for us to exert ourselves to discover what this
“certain age” might be, the limits of which were so extensive. We
accordingly commenced an investigation into the subject with great
alacrity, and carried it on for some time with great perseverance. We
regret to add that our success has not been proportionate to our
exertions; and that, by the most indefatigable research, we can only
ascertain that nothing in life is involved in such uncertainty as this
“certain age.”
Our first hope was, that by inquiries from some lady of our
acquaintance, who had the fortune or the misfortune to come under this
definition, we might be able to ascertain the precise boundaries of the
period. But here we met with a difficulty, as it were on the threshold
of our project. Out of all the young beauties of whom we made inquiries;
out of all the fashionable belles in high life, and the vulgar belles in
low life, and the languishing belles who have no life at all, we could
find no one to return a satisfactory answer to this mysterious,
unanswerable, insupportable question, “Are you of a certain age?” One
laughed naturally, and another laughed artificially; one looked amazed,
and another looked chagrined; one “left it to us to decide,” another
left the room; one professed utter ignorance, and another tapped us with
her fan, and wondered how we could have the impertinence. But plain
“Yes” or “No” was not forthcoming. The ladies had not studied our second
number, or they would doubtless have learnt from Messrs. Lozell and
Oakley the absolute necessity of these little monosyllables.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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