Night began to fall, an impenetrable night. Very soon Maquetas had to
halt, for he could see nothing, absolutely nothing. Blackness enveloped
everything. Maquetas stood still, silent, and in the impenetrability
of the darkness he heard only the murmur of the waters of the torrent
in the abyss. The cold grew denser.
Maquetas stooped down, felt the road with his numb hands, and began to
creep along on all fours, warily, like a fox. He kept edging away from
the abyss.
He went forward like this for a long, long time. And he said to himself:
“Ah, that lass deceived me! Why did I heed her?”
The cold became horrible. It penetrated everywhere, like a
thousand-edged sword. Maquetas no longer felt the touch of the ground,
he no longer felt his own hands; he was benumbed. He stopped still. Or
rather he scarcely knew whether he was stopping or crawling.
Maquetas felt himself suspended in the midst of the darkness, black
night all around him. He heard nothing but the ceaseless murmur of the
waters of the abyss.
“I will call out,” Maquetas said to himself, and he made an effort to
shout. But no sound was heard; his voice did not come forth out of his
chest. It was as if it were frozen within him.
Then Maquetas thought:
“Can I be dead?”
And as this thought took hold of him, it seemed as if the darkness and
the cold fused together and eternalized themselves round about him.
“Can this be death?” Maquetas went on thinking. “Shall I have to live
henceforward like this, in pure thought, in memory? And the castle? And
the abyss? What do the waters say? What a dream, what an appalling
dream! And not to be able to sleep!... To die like this, dreaming,
dying little by little, and not to be able to sleep!... And now what am
I going to do? What shall I do to-morrow?
“To-morrow? What is to-morrow? What does to-morrow mean? What is this
idea of to-morrow that seems to come to me out of the depth of the
darkness, where the waters are singing? To-morrow? For me there is now
no to-morrow. Everything is now, everything is blackness and cold. Even
this song of the eternal waters seems like a song of ice--just one
prolonged note.
“But can I really have died? How long the dawn is in coming! But I
don’t even know how long it is since the sun set behind the towers of
the castle....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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