The objection to conforming to usages that have become dead to you is
that it scatters your force. It loses your time and blurs the
impression of your character. If you maintain a dead church, contribute
to a dead Bible-society, vote with a great party either for the
government or against it, spread your table like base
housekeepers,—under all these screens I have difficulty to detect the
precise man you are: and of course so much force is withdrawn from your
proper life. But do your work, and I shall know you. Do your work, and
you shall reinforce yourself. A man must consider what a
blindman’s-buff is this game of conformity. If I know your sect, I
anticipate your argument. I hear a preacher announce for his text and
topic the expediency of one of the institutions of his church. Do I not
know beforehand that not possibly can he say a new and spontaneous
word? Do I not know that with all this ostentation of examining the
grounds of the institution he will do no such thing? Do I not know that
he is pledged to himself not to look but at one side, the permitted
side, not as a man, but as a parish minister? He is a retained
attorney, and these airs of the bench are the emptiest affectation.
Well, most men have bound their eyes with one or another handkerchief,
and attached themselves to some one of these communities of opinion.
This conformity makes them not false in a few particulars, authors of a
few lies, but false in all particulars. Their every truth is not quite
true. Their two is not the real two, their four not the real four; so
that every word they say chagrins us and we know not where to begin to
set them right. Meantime nature is not slow to equip us in the
prison-uniform of the party to which we adhere. We come to wear one cut
of face and figure, and acquire by degrees the gentlest asinine
expression. There is a mortifying experience in particular, which does
not fail to wreak itself also in the general history; I mean “the
foolish face of praise,” the forced smile which we put on in company
where we do not feel at ease in answer to conversation which does not
interest us. The muscles, not spontaneously moved but moved by a low
usurping wilfulness, grow tight about the outline of the face with the
most disagreeable sensation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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