XCVI. For these reasons, I am of opinion, those who have met with such misfortunes, should for a certain time, be only seen by their relations and most intimate friends, their familiar intercourse with whom, would rather facilitate, than interrupt those burstings of their souls, which relieve the oppressions of their breasts. The visits of such people, should always be accompanied with expressions of friendship, and hearty tenders of kind and generous offers, and especially, when the grief is increased by apprehensions, that the consequences of the loss they have sustained, will be a partial, or total privation of their temporal conveniences. And besides those intimate friends and relations, the visits of some spiritual man, whose character for virtue and discretion is generally acknowledged and confessed, might afford great comfort in affliction, or to speak more properly, the interposition of Divine Providence through him, might administer greater relief in such cases, than could be furnished by the nearest relations, and the most sincere friends. And the best office that could be done to those who are borne down with grief by their friends and relations, might possibly be to procure them frequent visits from men of this character. XCVII. I would have it understood, that I mean all I have just said, as applicable only to great and real griefs; for truly appearances in these cases are very uncertain and equivocal. If a father, a mother, a husband, or a wife dies, the nearest relation to the deceased party, manifests great tokens of being deeply affected. But who will believe that a husband can be greatly concerned for the death of his wife, who was known to be much fonder of other women than of her? or who can believe that a wife can be really grieved for the death of her husband, who always played the tyrant with her, and treated her like a galley-slave of matrimony? or who that a son can be feelingly affected by the death of a father, whose estate he has long panted to be in possession of? In such instances as these, multitudes of visits of condolence may not be improper; for condolences of compliment, are well suited to mournings of ceremony. SECT. XXI. _Letter-writing._