Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Mothers and sons -- Fiction; Unmarried mothers -- Fiction; Women household employees -- Fiction
A young man coming home from an evening party looked at her as he passed.
She asked herself if she should run after him and tell him her story. Why
should he not assist her? He could so easily spare it. Would he? But
before she could decide to appeal to him he had called a passing hansom
and was soon far away. Then looking at the windows of the great hotels,
she thought of the folk there who could so easily save her from the
workhouse if they knew. There must be many a kind heart behind those
windows who would help her if she could only make known her trouble. But
that was the difficulty. She could not make known her trouble; she could
not tell the misery she was enduring. She was so ignorant; she could not
make herself understood. She would be mistaken for a common beggar.
Nowhere would she find anyone to listen to her. Was this punishment for
her wrong-doing? An idea of the blind cruelty of fate maddened her, and in
the delirium of her misery she asked herself if it would not have been
better, perhaps, if she had left him with Mrs. Spires. What indeed had the
poor little fellow to live for? A young man in evening dress came towards
her, looking so happy and easy in life, walking with long, swinging
strides. He stopped and asked her if she was out for a walk.
"No, sir; I'm out because I've no place to go."
"How's that?"
She told him the story of the baby-farmer and he listened kindly, and she
thought the necessary miracle was about to happen. But he only
complimented her on her pluck and got up to go. Then she understood that
he did not care to listen to sad stories, and a vagrant came and sat down.
"The 'copper,'" he said, "will be moving us on presently. It don't much
matter; it's too cold to get to sleep, and I think it will rain. My cough
is that bad."
She might beg a night's lodging of Mrs. Jones. It was far away; she did
not think she could walk so far. Mrs. Jones might have left, then what
would she do? The workhouse up there was much the same as the workhouse
down here. Mrs. Jones couldn't keep her for nothing, and there was no use
trying for another situation as wet-nurse; the hospital would not
recommend her again.... She must go to the workhouse. Then her thoughts
wandered. She thought of her father, brothers, and sisters, who had gone
to Australia. She wondered if they had yet arrived, if they ever thought
of her, if--She and her baby were on their way to the workhouse. They were
going to become paupers. She looked at the vagrant--he had fallen asleep.
He knew all about the workhouse--should she ask him what it was like? He,
too, was friendless. If he had a friend he would not be sleeping on the
Embankment. Should she ask him? Poor chap, he was asleep. People were
happy when they were asleep.
A full moon floated high up in the sky, and the city was no more than a
faint shadow on the glassy stillness of the night; and she longed to float
away with the moon and the river, to be borne away out of sight of this
world.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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