Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Mothers and sons -- Fiction; Unmarried mothers -- Fiction; Women household employees -- Fiction
She had no money. Her quarter's wages would not be due for another
fortnight, and as they did not coincide with her Sunday out, she would not
see her baby for another three weeks. She had not seen him for a month,
and a great longing was in her heart to clasp him in her arms again, to
feel his soft cheek against hers, to take his chubby legs and warm, fat
feet in her hands. The four lovely hours of liberty would slip by, she
would enter on another long fortnight of slavery. But no matter, only to
get them, however quickly they sped from her. She resigned herself to her
fate, her soul rose in revolt, and it grew hourly more difficult for her
to renounce this pleasure. She must pawn her dress--the only decent dress
she had left. No matter, she must see the child. She would be able to get
the dress out of pawn when she was paid her wages. Then she would have to
buy herself a pair of boots; and she owed Mrs. Lewis a good deal of money.
Five shillings a week came to thirteen pound a year, leaving her three
pound a year for boots and clothes, journeys back and forward, and
everything the baby might want. Oh, it was not to be done--she never would
be able to pull through. She dare not pawn her dress; if she did she'd
never be able to get it out again. At that moment something bright lying
on the floor, under the basin-stand, caught her eye. It was half-a-crown.
She looked at it, and as the temptation came into her heart to steal, she
raised her eyes and looked round the room.
She was in John's room--in the sneak's room. No one was about. She would
have cut off one of her fingers for the coin. That half-crown meant
pleasure and a happiness so tender and seductive that she closed her eyes
for a moment. The half-crown she held between forefinger and thumb
presented a ready solution of the besetting difficulty. She threw out the
insidious temptation, but it came quickly upon her again. If she did not
take the half-crown she would not be able to go Peckham on Sunday. She
could replace the money where she found it when she was paid her wages. No
one knew it was there; it had evidently rolled there, and having tumbled
between the carpet and the wall had not been discovered. It had probably
lain there for months, perhaps it was utterly forgotten. Besides, she need
not take it now. It would be quite safe if she put it back in its place;
on Sunday afternoon she would take it, and if she changed it at once--It
was not marked. She examined it all over. No, it was not marked. Then the
desire paused, and she wondered how she, an honest girl, who had never
harboured a dishonest thought in her life before, could desire to steal; a
bitter feeling of shame came upon her.
It was a case of flying from temptation, and she left the room so
hurriedly that John, who was spying in the passage, had not time either to
slip downstairs or to hide in his brother's room. They met face to face.
"Oh, I beg pardon, sir, but I found this half-crown in your room."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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