Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Mothers and sons -- Fiction; Unmarried mothers -- Fiction; Women household employees -- Fiction
"Well, there's nothing wonderful in that. What are you so agitated about?
I suppose you intended to return it to me?"
"Intended to return it! Of course."
An expression of hate and contempt leaped into her handsome grey eyes,
and, like a dog's, the red lip turned down. She suddenly understood that
this pasty-faced, despicable chap had placed the coin where it might have
accidentally rolled, where she would be likely to find it. He had
complained that morning that she did not keep his room sufficiently clean!
It was a carefully-laid plan, he was watching her all the while, and no
doubt thought that it was his own indiscretion that had prevented her from
falling into the snare. Without a word Esther dropped the half-crown at
his feet and returned to her work; and all the time she remained in her
present situation she persistently refused to speak to him; she brought
him what he asked for, but never answered him, even with a Yes or No.
It was during the few minutes' rest after dinner that the burden of the
day pressed heaviest upon her; then a painful weariness grew into her
limbs, and it seemed impossible to summon strength and will to beat
carpets or sweep down the stairs. But if she were not moving about before
the clock struck, Mrs. Bingley came down to the kitchen.
"Now, Esther, is there nothing for you to do?"
And again, about eight o'clock, she felt too tired to bear the weight of
her own flesh. She had passed through fourteen hours of almost
unintermittent toil, and it seemed to her that she would never be able to
summon up sufficient courage to get through the last three hours. It was
this last summit that taxed all her strength and all her will. Even the
rest that awaited her at eleven o'clock was blighted by the knowledge of
the day that was coming; and its cruel hours, long and lean and
hollow-eyed, stared at her through the darkness. She was often too tired
to rest, and rolled over and over in her miserable garret bed, her whole
body aching. Toil crushed all that was human out of her; even her baby was
growing indifferent to her. If it were to die! She did not desire her
baby's death, but she could not forget what the baby-farmer had told
her--the burden would not become lighter, it would become heavier and
heavier. What would become of her? Was there no hope? She buried her face
in her pillow, seeking to escape from the passion of her despair. She was
an unfortunate girl, and had missed all her chances.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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