Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Mothers and sons -- Fiction; Unmarried mothers -- Fiction; Women household employees -- Fiction
Towards the end of the week she heard some one tap at the window; it was
Fred. He asked her why he had not seen her; she answered that she had not
had time.
"Can you come out this evening?"
"Yes, if you like."
She put on her hat, and they went out. Neither spoke, but their feet took
instinctively the pavement that led to the little square where they had
walked the first time they went out together.
"I've been thinking of you a good deal, Esther, in the last few days. I
want to ask you to marry me."
Esther did not answer.
"Will you?" he said.
"I can't; I'm very sorry; don't ask me."
"Why can't you?"
"If I told you I don't think you'd want to marry me. I suppose I'd better
tell you. I'm not the good woman you think me. I've got a child. There,
you have it now, and you can take your hook when you like."
It was her blunt, sullen nature that had spoken; she didn't care if he
left her on the spot--now he knew all and could do as he liked. At last,
he said--
"But you've repented, Esther?"
"I should think I had, and been punished too, enough for a dozen
children."
"Ah, then it wasn't lately?"
"Lately! It's nearly eight year ago."
"And all that time you've been a good woman?"
"Yes, I think I've been that."
"Then if--"
"I don't want no ifs. If I am not good enough for you, you can go
elsewhere and get better; I've had enough of reproaches."
"I did not mean to reproach you; I know that a woman's path is more
difficult to walk in than ours. It may not be a woman's fault if she
falls, but it is always a man's. He can always fly from temptation."
"Yet there isn't a man that can say he hasn't gone wrong."
"No, not all, Esther."
Esther looked him full in the face.
"I understand what you mean, Esther, but I can honestly say that I never
have."
Esther did not like him any better for his purity, and was irritated by
the clear tones of his icy voice.
"But that is no reason why I should be hard on those who have not been so
fortunate. I didn't mean to reproach you just now, Esther; I only meant to
say that I wish you had told me this before I took you to meeting."
"So you're ashamed of me, is that it? Well, you can keep your shame to
yourself."
"No, not that, Esther--"
"Then you'd like to see me humiliated before the others, as if I haven't
had enough of that already."
"No, Esther, listen to me. Those who transgress the moral law may not
kneel at the table for a time, until they have repented; but those who
believe in the sacrifice of the Cross are acquitted, and I believe you do
that."
"Yes."
"A sinner that repenteth----I will speak about this at our next meeting;
you will come with me there?"
"Next Sunday I'm going to Dulwich to see the child."
"Can't you go after meeting?"
"No, I can't be out morning and afternoon both."
"May I go with you?"
"To Dulwich!"
"You won't go until after meeting; I can meet you at the railway station."
"If you like."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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