As I am like to be conspicuous in these pages, it may be proper to say
that I am very susceptible to atmospheric influences. I figure among my
friends as a man of quiet disposition, but I am at times morose,
although I endeavor to conceal this fact from others. My nervous system
is a sensitive weather-glass. Sometimes I fancy that I must have been
born under the planet Saturn, for I find myself unpleasantly influenced
by moods ascribed to that depressing planet, more especially in its
disagreeable phases, for I regret to state that I do not find
corresponding elation, as I should, in its brighter aspects. I have an
especial dislike for wintry weather, a dislike which I find growing with
my years, until it has developed almost into positive antipathy and
dread. On the day I have described, my moods had varied with the
weather. The fitfulness of the winds had found its way into my
feelings, and the somber tone of the clouds into my meditations. I was
restless as the elements, and a deep sense of dissatisfaction with
myself and everything else, possessed me. I could not content myself in
any place or position. Reading was distasteful, writing equally so; but
it occurred to me that a brisk walk, for a few blocks, might afford
relief. Muffling myself up in my overcoat and fur cap, I took the
street, only to find the air gusty and raw, and I gave up in still
greater disgust, and returning home, after drawing the curtains and
locking the doors, planted myself in front of a glowing grate fire,
firmly resolved to rid myself of myself by resorting to the oblivion of
thought, reverie, or dream. To sleep was impossible, and I sat moodily
in an easy chair, noting the quarter and half-hour strokes as they were
chimed out sweetly from the spire of St. Peter's Cathedral, a few blocks
away.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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