These are all good form, whether gentlemen are introduced to ladies,
ladies to ladies, or gentlemen to gentlemen. In introducing a gentleman to
a lady, you may ask Mr. Smith if he has met Mrs. Jones, but you must not
ask Mrs. Jones if she has met Mr. Smith!
=FORMS OF INTRODUCTIONS TO AVOID=
Do not say: "Mr. Jones, shake hands with Mr. Smith," or "Mrs. Jones, I
want to make you acquainted with Mrs. Smith." Never say: "make you
acquainted with" and do not, in introducing one person to another, call
one of them "my friend." You can say "my aunt," or "my sister," or "my
cousin"--but to pick out a particular person as "my friend" is not only
bad style but, unless you have only one friend, bad manners--as it implies
Mrs. Smith is "my friend" and you are a stranger.
You may very properly say to Mr. Smith "I want you to meet Mrs. Jones,"
but this is not a form of introduction, nor is it to be said in Mrs.
Jones' hearing. Upon leading Mr. Smith up to Mrs. Jones, you say "Mrs.
Jones may I present Mr. Smith" or "Mrs. Jones; Mr. Smith." Under no
circumstances whatsoever say "Mr. Smith meet Mrs. Jones," or "Mrs. Jones
meet Mr. Smith." Either wording is equally preposterous.
Do not repeat "Mrs. Jones? Mrs. Smith! Mrs. Smith? Mrs. Jones!" To say
each name once is quite enough.
Most people of good taste very much dislike being asked their names. To
say "What is your name?" is always abrupt and unflattering. If you want to
know with whom you have been talking, you can generally find a third
person later and ask "Who was the lady with the grey feather in her hat?"
The next time you see her you can say "How do you do, Mrs. ----" (calling
her by name).
=WHEN TO SHAKE HANDS=
When gentlemen are introduced to each other they always shake hands.
When a gentleman is introduced to a lady, she sometimes puts out her
hand--especially if he is some one she has long heard about from friends
in common, but to an entire stranger she generally merely bows her head
slightly and says: "How do you do!" Strictly speaking, it is always her
place to offer her hand or not as she chooses, but if he puts out his
hand, it is rude on her part to ignore it. Nothing could be more ill-bred
than to treat curtly any overture made in spontaneous friendliness. No
thoroughbred lady would ever refuse to shake any hand that is honorable,
not even the hand of a coal heaver at the risk of her fresh white glove.
Those who have been drawn into a conversation do not usually shake hands
on parting. But there is no fixed rule. A lady sometimes shakes hands
after talking with a casual stranger; at other times she does not offer
her hand on parting from one who has been punctiliously presented to her.
She may find the former sympathetic and the latter very much the contrary.
Very few rules of etiquette are inelastic and none more so than the
acceptance or rejection of the strangers you meet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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