Nearly all books on etiquette insist that a "gentleman must offer to carry
a lady's bundles." Bundles do not suggest a lady in the first place, and
as for gentlemen and bundles!--they don't go together at all. Very neat
packages that could never without injury to their pride be designated as
"bundles" are different. Such, for instance, might be a square, smoothly
wrapped box of cigars, candy, or books. Also, a gentleman might carry
flowers, or a basket of fruit, or, in fact, any package that looks
tempting. He might even stagger under bags and suitcases, or a small
trunk--but carry a "bundle"? Not twice! And yet, many an unknowing woman,
sometimes a very young and pretty one, too, has asked a relative, a
neighbor, or an admirer, to carry something suggestive of a pillow, done
up in crinkled paper and odd lengths of joined string. Then she wonders
afterwards in unenlightened surprise why her cousin, or her neighbor, or
her admirer, who is one of the smartest men in town, never comes to see
her any more!
=A GENTLEMAN OFFERS HIS ARM=
To an old lady or to an invalid a gentleman offers his arm if either of
them wants his support. Otherwise a lady no longer leans upon a gentleman
in the daytime, unless to cross a very crowded thoroughfare, or to be
helped over a rough piece of road, or under other impeding circumstances.
In accompanying a lady anywhere at night, whether down the steps of a
house, or from one building to another, or when walking a distance, a
gentleman always offers his arm. The reason is that in her thin
high-heeled slippers, and when it is too dark to see her foothold clearly,
she is likely to trip.
Under any of these circumstances when he proffers his assistance, he
might say: "Don't you think you had better take my arm? You might trip."
Or--"Wouldn't it be easier if you took my arm along here? The going is
pretty bad." Otherwise the only occasions on which a gentleman offers his
arm to a lady are in taking her in at a formal dinner, or taking her in to
supper at a ball, or when he is an usher at a wedding. Even in walking
across a ballroom, except at a public ball in the grand march, it is the
present fashion for the younger generation to walk side by side, never arm
in arm. This, however, is merely an instance where etiquette and the
custom of the moment differ. Old-fashioned gentlemen still offer their
arm, and it is, and long will be, in accordance with etiquette to do so.
But etiquette does _not_ permit a gentleman to take a lady's arm!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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