You need not, however, be dull because you refrain from the rank habit of a critical attitude, which like a weed will grow all over the place if you let it have half a chance. A very good resolve to make and keep, if you would also keep any friends you make, is never to speak of anyone without, in imagination, having them overhear what you say. One often hears the exclamation "I would say it to her face!" At least be very sure that this is true, and not a braggart's phrase and then--nine times out of ten think better of it and refrain. Preaching is all very well in a text-book, schoolroom or pulpit, but it has no place in society. Society is supposed to be a pleasant place; telling people disagreeable things to their faces or behind their backs is _not_ a pleasant occupation. Do not be too apparently clever if you would be popular. The cleverest woman is she who, in talking to a man, makes _him_ seem clever. This was Mme. Recamier's great charm. =A FEW MAXIMS FOR THOSE WHO TALK TOO MUCH--AND EASILY!= The faults of commission are far more serious than those of omission; regrets are seldom for what you left unsaid. The chatterer reveals every corner of his shallow mind; one who keeps silent can not have his depth plumbed. Don't pretend to know more than you do. To say you have read a book and then seemingly to understand nothing of what you have read, proves you a half-wit. Only the very small mind hesitates to say "I don't know." Above all, stop and _think_ what you are saying! This is really the first, last and only rule. If you "stop" you can't chatter or expound or flounder ceaselessly, and if you _think_, you will find a topic and a manner of presenting your topic so that your neighbor will be interested rather than long-suffering. Remember also that the sympathetic (not apathetic) listener is the delight of delights. The person who looks glad to see you, who is seemingly eager for your news, or enthralled with your conversation; who looks at you with a kindling of the face, and gives you spontaneous and undivided attention, is the one to whom the palm for the art of conversation would undoubtedly be awarded. CHAPTER VIII WORDS, PHRASES AND PRONUNCIATION =PHRASES AVOIDED IN GOOD SOCIETY= It is difficult to explain why well-bred people avoid certain words and expressions that are admitted by etymology and grammar. So it must be merely stated that they have and undoubtedly always will avoid them. Moreover, this choice of expression is not set forth in any printed guide or book on English, though it is followed in all literature.