"Oh, sir," he replied, "that's very simple. You noticed two pushbuttons in your bathroom, didn't you?" "I did," I said, "and that's just the difficulty. One of them is for the maid and the other is for the waiter." "Quite so, sir," he said, "quite so. Very well, then, sir: You ring for the waiter or the maid--or, if you should charnce to be in a hurry, for both of them; because, you see, one of them might charnce to be en--" "One moment," I said. "Let me make my position clear in this matter: This Lady Susanna--I do not know her last name, but you will doubtless recall the person I mean, because I saw several pictures of her yesterday in your national art gallery--this Lady Susanna may have enjoyed taking a bath with a lot of snoopy old elders lurking round in the background; but I am not so constituted. I was raised differently from that. With me, bathing has ever been a solitary pleasure. This may denote selfishness on my part; but such is my nature and I cannot alter it. All my folks feel about it as I do. We are a very peculiar family that way. When bathing we do not invite an audience. Nor do I want one. A crowd would only embarrass me. I merely desire a little privacy and, here and there, a towel." "Ah, yes! Quite so, sir," he said; "but you do not understand me. As I said before, you ring for the waiter or the maid. When one of them comes you tell them to send you the manservant on your floor; and when he comes you tell him you require towels, and he goes to the linen cupboard and gets them and fetches them to you, sir. It's very simple, sir." "But why," I persisted, "why do this thing by a relay system? I don't want any famishing gentleman in this place to go practically unmarmaladed at breakfast because I am using the waiter to conduct preliminary negotiations with a third party in regard to a bathtowel." "But it is so very simple, sir," he repeated patiently. "You ring for the waiter or the ma--" I checked him with a gesture. I felt that I knew what he meant to say; I also felt that if any word of mine might serve to put this establishment on an easy-running basis they could have it and welcome.