English fiction -- 19th century; Tailors -- Fiction
“I assure you, no better! not a bit! I faint in your society. I ask
myself—Where am I? Among what boors have I fallen? But Evan is no worse
than the rest of you; I acknowledge that. If he knew how to dress his
shoulders properly, and to direct his eyes—Oh! the eyes! you should see
how a Portuguese nobleman can use his eyes! Soul! my dears, soul! Can
any of you look the unutterable without being absurd! You look so.”
And the Countess hung her jaw under heavily vacuous orbits, something
as a sheep might yawn.
“But I acknowledge that Evan is no worse than the rest of you,” she
repeated. “If he understood at all the management of his eyes and
mouth! But that’s what he cannot possibly learn in England—not
possibly! As for your poor husband, Harriet! one really has to remember
his excellent qualities to forgive him, poor man! And that stiff
bandbox of a man of yours, Caroline!” addressing the wife of the
Marine, “he looks as if he were all angles and sections, and were taken
to pieces every night and put together in the morning. He may be a good
soldier—good anything you will—but, Dios! to be married to that! He is
not civilized. None of you English are. You have no place in the
drawing-room. You are like so many intrusive oxen—absolutely! One of
your men trod on my toe the other night, and what do you think the
creature did? Jerks back, then the half of him forward—I thought he was
going to break in two—then grins, and grunts, ‘Oh! ’m sure, beg pardon,
’m sure!’ I don’t know whether he didn’t say, MA’AM!”
The Countess lifted her hands, and fell away in laughing horror. When
her humour, or her feelings generally, were a little excited, she spoke
her vernacular as her sisters did, but immediately subsided into the
deliberate delicately-syllabled drawl.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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