English fiction -- 19th century; Tailors -- Fiction
“Oh! if you can persuade any of them, sir, I’m sure I’ve nothing to
say,” observed the hostess. “Pray, don’t ask me to stand by and back
it, that’s all.”
Had Evan been familiar with the Green Dragon, he would have noticed
that the landlady, its presiding genius, was stiffer than usual; the
rosy smile was more constrained, as if a great host had to be embraced,
and were trying it to the utmost stretch. There was, however, no
asperity about her, and when she had led him to the door he was to
enter to prefer his suit, and she had asked whether the young woman was
quite common, and he had replied that he had picked her up on the road,
and that she was certainly poor, the hostess said:
“I’m sure you’re a very good gentleman, sir, and if I could spare your
asking at all, I would.”
With that she went back to encounter Mr. Raikes and his charge, and
prime the waggoner and his mate.
A noise of laughter and talk was stilled gradually, as Evan made his
bow into a spacious room, wherein, as the tops of pines are seen
swimming on the morning mist, about a couple of dozen guests of divers
conditions sat partially revealed through wavy clouds of tobacco-smoke.
By their postures, which Evan’s appearance by no means disconcerted,
you read in a glance men who had been at ease for so many hours that
they had no troubles in the world save the two ultimate perplexities of
the British Sybarite, whose bed of roses is harassed by the pair of
problems: first, what to do with his legs; secondly, how to imbibe
liquor with the slightest possible derangement of those members
subordinate to his upper structure. Of old the Sybarite complained. Not
so our self-helpful islanders. Since they could not, now that work was
done and jollity the game, take off their legs, they got away from them
as far as they might, in fashions original or imitative: some by
thrusting them out at full length; some by cramping them under their
chairs: while some, taking refuge in a mental effort, forgot them, a
process to be recommended if it did not involve occasional pangs of
consciousness to the legs of their neighbours. We see in our cousins
West of the great water, who are said to exaggerate our peculiarities,
beings labouring under the same difficulty, and intent on its solution.
As to the second problem: that of drinking without discomposure to the
subservient limbs: the company present worked out this republican
principle ingeniously, but in a manner beneath the attention of the
Muse. Let Clio record that mugs and glasses, tobacco and pipes, were
strewn upon the table. But if the guests had arrived at that stage when
to reach the arm, or arrange the person, for a sip of good stuff,
causes moral debates, and presents to the mind impediments equal to
what would be raised in active men by the prospect of a great
excursion, it is not to be wondered at that the presence of a stranger
produced no immediate commotion. Two or three heads were half turned;
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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