English fiction -- 19th century; Tailors -- Fiction
'I assure you, no better! not a bit! I faint in your society. I ask
myself--Where am I? Among what boors have I fallen? But Evan is no
worse than the rest of you; I acknowledge that. If he knew how to dress
his shoulders properly, and to direct his eyes--Oh! the eyes! you
should see how a Portuguese nobleman can use his eyes! Soul! my dears,
soul! Can any of you look the unutterable without being absurd! You
look so.'
And the Countess hung her jaw under heavily vacuous orbits, something as
a sheep might yawn.
'But I acknowledge that Evan is no worse than the rest of you,' she
repeated. 'If he understood at all the management of his eyes and mouth!
But that's what he cannot possibly learn in England--not possibly! As
for your poor husband, Harriet! one really has to remember his excellent
qualities to forgive him, poor man! And that stiff bandbox of a man of
yours, Caroline!' addressing the wife of the Marine, 'he looks as if he
were all angles and sections, and were taken to pieces every night and
put together in the morning. He may be a good soldier--good anything you
will--but, Diacho! to be married to that! He is not civilized. None of
you English are. You have no place in the drawing-room. You are like so
many intrusive oxen--absolutely! One of your men trod on my toe the
other night, and what do you think the creature did? Jerks back, then
the half of him forward--I thought he was going to break in two--then
grins, and grunts, "Oh! 'm sure, beg pardon, 'm sure!" I don't know
whether he didn't say, MARM!'
The Countess lifted her hands, and fell away in laughing horror. When
her humour, or her feelings generally, were a little excited, she spoke
her vernacular as her sisters did, but immediately subsided into the
deliberate delicately-syllabled drawl.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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