English fiction -- 19th century; Tailors -- Fiction
'Oh, very well; thank you, ma'am; that's your idea. I'll try it. Good
night.'
'Good night,' returned Mrs. Mel. 'Don't forget to jump into the middle.'
'Head foremost, ma'am?'
'As you weigh,' said Mrs. Mel, and Old Tom trumped his lips, silenced if
not beaten. Beaten, one might almost say, for nothing more was heard of
him that night.
He presented himself to Mrs. Mel after breakfast next morning.
'Slept well, ma'am.'
'Oh! then you did as I directed you,' said Mrs. Mel.
'Those chops, too, very good. I got through 'em.'
'Eating, like scratching, only wants a beginning,' said Mrs. Mel.
'Ha! you've got your word, then, as well as everybody else. Where's
your Dandy this morning, ma'am?'
'Locked up. You ought to be ashamed to give that poor beast liquor. He
won't get fresh air to-day.'
'Ha! May I ask you where you're going to-day, ma'am?'
'I am going to Beckley.'
'So am I, ma'am. What d' ye say, if we join company. Care for
insinuations?'
'I want a conveyance of some sort,' returned Mrs. Mel.
'Object to a donkey, ma'am?'
'Not if he's strong and will go.'
'Good,' said Old Tom; and while he spoke a donkey-cart stopped in front
of the Dolphin, and a well-dressed man touched his hat.
'Get out of that damned bad habit, will you?' growled Old Tom. What do
you mean by wearing out the brim o' your hat in that way? Help this
woman in.'
Mrs. Mel helped herself to a part of the seat.
'We are too much for the donkey,' she said.
'Ha, that's right. What I have, ma'am, is good. I can't pretend to
horses, but my donkey's the best. Are you going to cry about him?'
'No. When he's tired I shall either walk or harness you,' said Mrs. Mel.
This was spoken half-way down the High Street of Fallow field. Old Tom
looked full in her face, and bawled out:
'Deuce take it. Are you a woman?'
'I have borne three girls and one boy,' said Mrs. Mel.
'What sort of a husband?'
'He is dead.'
'Ha! that's an opening, but 'tain't an answer. I'm off to Beckley on a
marriage business. I 'm the son of a cobbler, so I go in a donkey-cart.
No damned pretences for me. I'm going to marry off a young tailor to a
gal he's been playing the lord to. If she cares for him she'll take him:
if not, they're all the luckier, both of 'em.'
'What's the tailor's name?' said Mrs. Mel.
'You are a woman,' returned Old Tom. 'Now, come, ma'am, don't you feel
ashamed of being in a donkeycart?'
'I 'm ashamed of men, sometimes,' said Mrs. Mel; 'never of animals.'
''Shamed o' me, perhaps.'
'I don't know you.'
'Ha! well! I'm a man with no pretences. Do you like 'em? How have you
brought up your three girls and one boy? No pretences--eh?'
Mrs. Mel did not answer, and Old Tom jogged the reins and chuckled, and
asked his donkey if he wanted to be a racer.
'Should you take me for a gentleman, ma'am?'
'I dare say you are, sir, at heart. Not from your manner of speech.'
'I mean appearances, ma'am.'
'I judge by the disposition.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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