‘You shall not do that,’ she said, and caught his hand, and held it
down firmly on the coverlet. Then, at once, he was quiet. He continued
turning his head on the pillow, but he did not stir his arm. When she
attempted to withdraw her hand he would not suffer her. Once, when
almost by main force, she plucked her hand away, he became excited and
tried to rise in his bed. In terror, to pacify him, she gave him her
hand again. She moved her chair close to the bed, where she could sit
facing him, and let him hold her left hand with his left. He was quiet
at once. It seemed to her that her cool, calmly flowing blood poured
its healing influence through her hand up his arm to his tossing,
troubled head. Thus she was obliged to sit all night, hand in hand
with the man she was constrained to pity, but whom, for his guilt, she
loathed.
He became cooler, his pulse beat less fiercely, his hand was less
burning and dry. She saw him pass from vexing dreams into placid sleep.
She was unable to knit, to do any work all night. She could do nothing
other than sit, hour after hour, with her eyes on his face, trying to
unravel the riddle, to reconcile that noble countenance with an evil
life. And when she could not solve it, she closed her eyes and prayed,
and her prayer was concerned, like her thoughts, with the man who lay
in fever and pain, and who clasped her so resolutely. Towards dawn his
eyes opened, and there was no more vacancy and fire in them. Then she
went to the little casement and opened it. The fresh, sweet air of
early morning rushed in, and with the air came the song of awakening
thrushes, the spiral twitter of the lark. One fading star was still
shining in a sky that was laying aside its sables.
She went back to the bedside and said gently, ‘You are better.’
‘Thank you,’ he answered. ‘I have given you much trouble.’
She shook her head, she did not speak. Something rose in her throat.
She had extinguished the lamp. In the grey dawn the face on the bed
looked death-like, and a gush of tenderness, of pity for the patient,
filled Barbara’s heart. She brought a basin and a sponge, and, leaning
over him, washed his face. He thanked her with his sweet smile, a
smile that told of pain. It affected Barbara strangely. She drew a
long breath. She could not speak. If she had attempted to do so she
would have sobbed; for she was tired with her continued watching. To
be a nurse to the weak, whether to a babe or a wounded man, brings out
all the sweet springs in a woman’s soul; and poor Barbara, against
her judgment, felt that every gentle vein in her heart was oozing
with pity, love, solicitude, mercy, faith and hope. What eyes that
Jasper had! so gentle, soft, and truthful. Could treachery, cruelty,
dishonesty lurk beneath them?
A question trembled on Barbara’s lips. She longed to ask him something
about himself, to know the truth, to have that horrible enigma solved.
She leaned her hand on the back of the chair, and put the other to her
lips.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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