Transcriber's Note: Inconsistent hyphenation and spelling in the original document have been preserved. Obvious typographical errors have been corrected. The book uses both "Doc." and "Doc". Italic text is denoted by _underscores_. EXCUSE ME! [Illustration] EXCUSE ME! _By_ RUPERT HUGHES Author of "The Old Nest" WITH FIVE ILLUSTRATIONS A. L. BURT COMPANY PUBLISHERS NEW YORK Copyright, 1911, by THE H. K. FLY COMPANY CONTENTS CHAPTER PAGE I. The Wreck of the Taxicab 9 II. The Early Birds and the Worm 16 III. In Darkest Chicago 26 IV. A Mouse and a Mountain 35 V. A Queen Among Women 47 VI. A Conspiracy in Satin 53 VII. The Masked Minister 60 VIII. A Mixed Pickle 65 IX. All Aboard! 75 X. Excess Baggage 84 XI. A Chance Rencounter 88 XII. The Needle in the Haystack 92 XIII. Hostilities Begin 99 XIV. The Dormitory on Wheels 103 XV. A Premature Divorce 106 XVI. Good Night, All! 115 XVII. Last Call for Breakfast 122 XVIII. In the Composite Car 128 XIX. Foiled! 139 XX. Foiled Again! 142 XXI. Matrimony To and Fro 147 XXII. In the Smoking Room 156 XXIII Through a Tunnel 164 XXIV. The Train Butcher 173 XXV. The Train Wrecker 180 XXVI. Delilah and the Conductor 186 XXVII. The Dog-on Dog Again 191 XXVIII. The Woman-Hater's Relapse 203 XXIX. Jealousy Comes Aboard 213 XXX. A Wedding on Wheels 222 XXXI. Foiled Yet Again 227 XXXII. The Empty Berth 233 XXXIII. Fresh Trouble Daily 237 XXXIV. The Complete Divorcer 252 XXXV. Mr. and Mrs. Little Jimmie 266 XXXVI. A Duel for a Bracelet 273 XXXVII. Down Brakes! 278 XXXVIII. Hands Up! 284 XXXIX. Wolves in the Fold 296 XL. A Hero in Spite of Himself 304 XLI. Clickety-Clickety-Clickety 308 ILLUSTRATIONS No tips were to be expected from such transients _Frontispiece_ PAGE