RICHARD.
[_Turns towards him, almost fiercely._] Not that fear. But that I will
reproach myself then for having taken all for myself because I would
not suffer her to give to another what was hers and not mine to give,
because I accepted from her her loyalty and made her life poorer in
love. That is my fear. That I stand between her and any moments of life
that should be hers, between her and you, between her and anyone,
between her and anything. I will not do it. I cannot and I will not. I
dare not.
[_He leans back in his chair breathless, with shining eyes. Robert
rises quietly, and stands behind his chair._]
ROBERT.
Look here, Richard. We have said all there is to be said. Let the past
be past.
RICHARD.
[_Quickly and harshly._] Wait. One thing more. For you, too, must know
me as I am—now.
ROBERT.
More? Is there more?
RICHARD.
I told you that when I saw your eyes this afternoon I felt sad. Your
humility and confusion, I felt, united you to me in brotherhood. [_He
turns half round towards him._] At that moment I felt our whole life
together in the past, and I longed to put my arm around your neck.
ROBERT.
[_Deeply and suddenly touched._] It is noble of you, Richard, to
forgive me like this.
RICHARD.
[_Struggling with himself._] I told you that I wished you not to do
anything false and secret against me—against our friendship, against
her; not to steal her from me craftily, secretly, meanly—in the dark,
in the night—you, Robert, my friend.
ROBERT.
I know. And it was noble of you.
RICHARD.
[_Looks up at him with a steady gaze._] No. Not noble. Ignoble.
ROBERT.
[_Makes an involuntary gesture._] How? Why?
RICHARD.
[_Looks away again: in a lower voice._] That is what I must tell you
too. Because in the very core of my ignoble heart I longed to be
betrayed by you and by her—in the dark, in the night—secretly, meanly,
craftily. By you, my best friend, and by her. I longed for that
passionately and ignobly, to be dishonoured for ever in love and in
lust, to be...
ROBERT.
[_Bending down, places his hands over Richard’s mouth._] Enough.
Enough. [_He takes his hands away._] But no. Go on.
RICHARD.
To be for ever a shameful creature and to build up my soul again out of
the ruins of its shame.
ROBERT.
And that is why you wished that she...
RICHARD.
[_With calm._] She has spoken always of her innocence, as I have spoken
always of my guilt, humbling me.
ROBERT.
From pride, then?
RICHARD.
From pride and from ignoble longing. And from a motive deeper still.
ROBERT.
[_With decision._] I understand you.
[_He returns to his place and begins to speak at once, drawing his
chair closer._]
ROBERT.
May it not be that we are here and now in the presence of a moment
which will free us both—me as well as you—from the last bonds of what
is called morality. My friendship for you has laid bonds on me.
RICHARD.
Light bonds, apparently.
ROBERT.
I acted in the dark, secretly. I will do so no longer. Have you the
courage to allow me to act freely?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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