A 10th. triall of the true _life_ of the _inner_ man, (though _weak_ and _sickly_,) is a _discerning_, and _liking_, and secret _wishing_ that _beauty_ and _shining_ of the _grace_ of _Christ Jesus_, which appears in others of _Gods Children_, and which we see wanting in our _selves_. Thus were there a sort of _Gods children_, which could see _beauty_ and _excellency_ in those which so affectionately inquired after _Christ Jesus_, in his visible worship, and the severall parts thereof, although themselves were not so zealously affected. Thus therefore say they: O thou the _fairest_ of _Women_, (an _acknowledgment_ of heavenly _grace_ and _beauty_, and they also enquire, and desire to see that _beauty_ of _Christ Jesus_, which the other _Saints_ so praised. And in _Cant: 6_. they say, whither is thy _Beloved_ gone, oh thou _fairest_ among _Women_, that we may seek him with thee: Hence many of _Gods_ dear _Saints_ in _Qu: Maries_ time, and other bloody days, in our own and other _countries_, have praised _God_ for, and have been ravished with the _beauties_ of the heavenly _love_ and _zeal_, and _patience_ in others of _Gods servants_, which they have seen wanting in themselves: And thus, (whatever be our _weaknesses_) it must needs argue a _life_ of _grace_, when we can view the _lives_ and _deaths_ of the blessed _martyrs_, or _witnesses of Christ Jesus_, (either in the holy _scriptures_, or other _Records_, I say can view them with a _liking_ and true _affecting_ of their _graces_, with an humble acknowledgment of our own _wants_ and _poverties_, and a mourning _desire_ of _attaining_ to such a beauteous _profession_ of _Christ Jesus_. Such a _beauty_ (doubtles) did many of _Gods children_ apprehend in the _Lords Ordinances_, and in such as suffred for them in _England_, who yet found not strength themselves, to stand and suffer for, and with them, yet left much and fled to _New England_, hoping to enjoy there (though with too much weak desire of _peace_ and _liberty_) the _Ordinances_ of _Christ Jesus_, their _souls Beloved_. _Obj._ But did not _Balaam_ see the _beauty_ and _excellency_ of _Gods Saints_, when he cried out, let me dye the _death_ of the _righteous_, and let my last end be like his, _&c._ I answer, it is usually well said, _Balaam_ desired the _death_, and _blessednes_ of the _righteous_, but not the _life_ and _righteousnesse_ of the _righteous_. _Obj._ _Balaam_ seems to have seen the _beauty_ of _righteousnesse_ it self. [Sidenote: _Dissemblers_, in a respect may desire _righteousness_, but only _Gods children_ can long for it in truth, and for it self.]