Extracts from Adam's Diary, translated from the original ms.Twain, Mark
History
Extracts from Adam's Diary, translated from the original ms.
Twain, Mark
Adam (Biblical figure) -- Fiction; Bible. Genesis -- History of Biblical events -- Fiction; Diary fiction; Humorous stories
I have been off hunting and fishing a month, up in the region that she
calls Buffalo; I don’t know why, unless it is because there are not any
buffaloes there. Meantime the bear has learned to paddle around all by
itself on its hind legs, and says “poppa” and “momma.” It is certainly
a new species. This resemblance to words may be purely accidental, of
course, and may have no purpose or meaning; but even in that case it is
still extraordinary, and is a thing which no other bear can do. This
imitation of speech, taken together with general absence of fur and
entire absence of tail, sufficiently indicates that this is a new kind
of bear. The further study of it will be exceedingly interesting.
Meantime I will go off on a far expedition among the forests of the
North and make an exhaustive search. There must certainly be another
one somewhere, and this one will be less dangerous when it has company
of its own species. I will go straightway; but I will muzzle this one
first.
Three Months Later
It has been a weary, weary hunt, yet I have had no success. In the mean
time, without stirring from the home estate, she has caught another
one! I never saw such luck. I might have hunted these woods a hundred
years, I never should have run across that thing.
Next Day
I have been comparing the new one with the old one, and it is perfectly
plain that they are the same breed. I was going to stuff one of them
for my collection, but she is prejudiced against it for some reason or
other; so I have relinquished the idea, though I think it is a mistake.
It would be an irreparable loss to science if they should get away. The
old one is tamer than it was, and can laugh and talk like the parrot,
having learned this, no doubt, from being with the parrot so much, and
having the imitative faculty in a highly developed degree. I shall be
astonished if it turns out to be a new kind of parrot, and yet I ought
not to be astonished, for it has already been everything else it could
think of, since those first days when it was a fish. The new one is as
ugly now as the old one was at first; has the same sulphur-and-raw-meat
complexion and the same singular head without any fur on it. She calls
it Abel.
Ten Years Later
They are boys; we found it out long ago. It was their coming in that
small, immature shape that puzzled us; we were not used to it. There
are some girls now. Abel is a good boy, but if Cain had stayed a bear
it would have improved him. After all these years, I see that I was
mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the
Garden with her than inside it without her. At first I thought she
talked too much; but now I should be sorry to have that voice fall
silent and pass out of my life. Blessed be the chestnut that brought us
near together and taught me to know the goodness of her heart and the
sweetness of her spirit!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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