Fairy Gold: Ship's Company, Part 4.Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Fairy Gold: Ship's Company, Part 4.
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English
He stood with one foot on the bottom stair, listening acutely. He heard
a door open above, and then a wild, ear-splitting shriek rang through the
house. Instinctively he dashed upstairs and, following his wife into
their bedroom, stood by her side gaping stupidly at a pair of legs
standing on the hearthstone. As he watched they came backwards into the
room, the upper part of a body materialized from the chimney, and turning
round revealed the soot-stained face of Mr. Alfred Chase. Another wild
shriek from Mrs. Teak greeted its appearance.
"Hul-lo!" exclaimed Mr. Teak, groping for the right thing to say.
"Hul-lo! What--what are you doing, Alf?"
Mr. Chase blew the soot from his lips. "I--I--I come 'ome unexpected,"
he stammered.
"But--what are--you doing?" panted Mrs. Teak, in a rising voice.
"I--I was passing your door," said Mr. Chase, "passing your door--to go
to my room to--to 'ave a bit of a rinse, when--"
"Yes," said Mrs. Teak.
Mr. Chase gave Mr. Teak a glance the pathos of which even the soot could
not conceal. "When I--I heard a pore little bird struggling in your
chimbley," he continued, with a sigh of relief. "Being fond of animals,
I took the liberty of comin' into your room and saving its life."
Mr. Teak drew a breath, which he endeavoured in vain to render noiseless.
"It got its pore little foot caught in the brickwork," continued the
veracious Mr. Chase, tenderly. "I released it, and it flowed--I mean
flew--up the chimbley."
With the shamefaced air of a man detected in the performance of a noble
action, he passed out of the room. Husband and wife eyed each other.
"That's Alf--that's Alf all over," said Mr. Teak, with enthusiasm. "He's
been like it from a child. He's the sort of man that 'ud dive off
Waterloo Bridge to save the life of a drownding sparrow."
"He's made an awful mess," said his wife, frowning; "it'll take me the
rest of the day to clean up. There's soot everywhere. The rug is quite
spoilt."
She took off her hat and jacket and prepared for the fray. Down below
Messrs. Teak and Chase, comparing notes, sought, with much warmth, to
put the blame on the right shoulders.
"Well, it ain't there," said Mr. Chase, finally. "I've made sure of
that. That's something towards it. I shan't 'ave to look there again,
thank goodness."
Mr. Teak sniffed. "Got any more ideas?" he queried.
"I have," said the other sternly. "There's plenty of places to search
yet. I've only just begun. Get her out as much as you can and I'll 'ave
my hands on it afore you can say--"
"Soot?" suggested Mr. Teak, sourly.
"Any more of your nasty snacks and I chuck it up altogether," said Mr.
Chase, heatedly. "If I wasn't hard up I'd drop it now."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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