One day, as a whim, I had redeemed a young woman slave--then the
vagueness came and choked me. I might think; I might burst my brain,
but so far and no farther my memories would carry me. I _could
not_ force memory of that chain of events. But after that, Adric's
reign had collapsed like the unstable arch it had been. His armies
scattered, and he had shut himself up or been imprisoned in his Tower;
his memories had been stolen and he had gone, or been sent, spinning
along a time line forward, or perhaps back, until somewhere in the
abyss of time he touched Mike Kenscott.
It had been then, perhaps, that Adric had escaped. He had reached,
drawn Mike Kenscott back--and switched the two. It was a perfect escape
from a life Adric had come to hate.
But I _was_ Adric. There was an explanation for that, too. The
physical body could not make the transit in time. I had Adric's body;
the convolutions of his brain, the synaptic links of habit. His memory
banks. Only the Ego, the super-imposed pattern of the conscious
identity, insisted I was Mike Kenscott. In Adric's body, the old
patterns ruled, and to all intents and purposes, I _was_ Adric.
And back in my own time, I thought, Adric was living in my body--living
Mike Kenscott's life, going through the motions, with only the same
queer lapses I was making here. And after a while, even these would
stop. I was wholly trapped. Here, living Adric's life, the part of me
that was Adric would grow stronger and stronger till--he?--unseated the
other identity wholly. And he, in my body? Andy, I thought with a wild
swift fear, _what will he do to Andy_?
Nothing. He could not hurt Andy--not in my pattern--any more than I
could hate Evarin. Or could he?
I had to get back! God, I _had_ to get back!
When the white sun had set and the red sun glowed a darkening ember
across the Sierra, a summons came, brought by one of Karamy's
toy-soldier cohorts. I dressed--in crimson again, for there was no
other clothing anywhere--and followed the voiceless sentry down through
a labyrinth of elevators, finally emerging into a long corridor. I
strode down it, hearing my own steps echo; a second rhythm joined them
imperceptibly, and Gamine stole out of the darkness, swathed in the
luminous veiling, creeping noiselessly as a ghost behind me. Later I
became conscious of Evarin's padding cat-steps behind Gamine, trailing
us, single-file. And other figures came from darkened recesses to
stretch the silent parade; a slim girl in a winged cloak, flame color;
a dwarfed man who walked beneath the amethyst huddle of purple cap and
furs. Memory fitted names to them, but I did not speak to them, or they
to me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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