Falkland, CompleteLytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
Falkland, Complete
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
Fiction
I do not know if you ever felt that existence was ebbing away without
being put to its full value: as for me, I am never conscious of life
without being also conscious that it is not enjoyed to the utmost. This
is a bitter feeling, and its worst bitterness is our ignorance how to
remove it. My indolence I neither seek nor wish to defend, yet it is
rather from necessity than choice: it seems to me that there is nothing
in the world to arouse me. I only ask for action, but I can find no
motive sufficient to excite it: let me then, in my indolence, not, like
the world, be idle, yet dependent on others; but at least dignify the
failing by some appearance of that freedom which retirement only can
bestow.
My seclusion is no longer solitude; yet I do not value it the less. I
spend a great portion of my time at E------. Loneliness is attractive to
men of reflection, nor so much because they like their own thoughts, as
because they dis like the thoughts of others. Solitude ceases to charm
the moment we can find a single being whose ideas are more agreeable to
us than our own. I have not, I think, yet described to you the person of
Lady Emily. She is tall, and slightly, yet beautifully, formed. The ill
health which obliged her to leave London for E------, in the height of
the season, has given her cheek a more delicate hue than I should think
it naturally wore. Her eyes are light, but their lashes are long and
dark; her hair is black and luxuriant, and worn in a fashion peculiar
to herself; but her manners, Monkton! how can I convey to you their
fascination! so simple, and therefore so faultless--so modest, and yet
so tender--she seems, in acquiring the intelligence of the woman, to
have only perfected the purity of the child; and now, after all that
I have said, I am only more deeply sensible of the truth of Bacon’s
observation, that “the best part of beauty is that which no picture can
express.” I am loth to finish this description, because it seems to me
scarcely begun; I am unwilling to continue it, because every word seems
to show me more clearly those recesses of my heart, which I would have
hidden even from myself. I do not yet love, it is true, for the time
is past when I was lightly moved to passion; but I will not incur that
danger, the probability of which I am seer enough to foresee. Never
shall that pure and innocent heart be sullied by one who would die to
shield it from the lightest misfortune. I find in myself a powerful
seconder to my uncle’s wishes. I shall be in London next week; till
then, fare well. E. F.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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