Adoptees -- Fiction; Fathers and daughters -- Fiction
then, had touched it with destruction--shaken it to ruin, and made him,
while yet so young, abhorrent even to himself?
Such is an outline of the stranger of Treby; and his actions were in
conformity with the incongruities of his appearance--outwardly
unemployed and tranquil; inwardly torn by throes of the most tempestuous
and agonizing feelings. After landing he had strolled away, and was soon
out of sight; nor did he return till night, when he looked fatigued and
depressed. For form's sake--or for the sake of the bill at the inn--he
allowed food to be placed before him; but he neither ate nor drank--soon
he hurried to the solitude of his chamber--not to bed--he paced the room
for some hours; but as soon as all was still--when his watch and the
quiet stars told him that it was midnight, he left the house--he
wandered down to the beach--he threw himself upon the sands--and then
again he started up and strode along the verge of the tide--and then
sitting down, covering his face with his hands, remained motionless:
early dawn found him thus--but, on the first appearance of a fisherman,
he left the neighbourhood of the village, nor returned till the
afternoon--and now, when food was placed before him, he ate like one
half famished; but after the keen sensation of extreme hunger was
satisfied, he left the table and retired to his own room.
Taking a case of pistols from his portmanteau, he examined the weapons
with care, and, putting them in his pocket, walked out upon the sands.
The sun was fast descending in the sky, and he looked, with varying
glances, at it and at the blue sea, which slumbered peacefully, giving
forth scarcely any sound as it receded from the shore. Now he seemed
wistful--now impatient--now struck by bitterer pangs, that caused drops
of agony to gather on his brow. He spoke no word; but these were the
thoughts that hovered, though unexpressed, upon his lips: "Another day!
Another sun! Oh, never, never more for me shall day or sun exist.
Coward! Why fear to die? And do I fear? No! no! I fear nothing but this
pain--this unutterable anguish--this image of fell despair! If I could
feel secure that memory would cease when my brain lies scattered on the
earth, I should again feel joy before I die. Yet that is false. While I
live, and memory lives, and the knowledge of my crime still creeps
through every particle of my frame, I have a hell around me, even to the
last pulsation! For ever and for ever I see her, lost and dead at my
feet--I the cause--the murderer! My death shall atone. And yet even in
death the curse is on me--I cannot give back the breath of life to her
sweet pale lips! Oh fool! Oh villain! Haste to the last act; linger no
more, lest you grow mad, and fetters and stripes become your fitter
punishment than the death you covet!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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