Adoptees -- Fiction; Fathers and daughters -- Fiction
The stranger had taken the letter to his inn--but any roof seemed to
imprison and oppress him--again he sought relief in the open air, and
wandered far along the sands, with the speed of a misery that strove to
escape from itself. The whole night he spent thus--sometimes climbing
the jagged cliffs, then descending to the beach, and throwing himself
his length upon the sands. The tide ebbed and flowed--the roar of ocean
filled the lone night with sound--the owl flapped down from its home in
the rock, and hooted. Hour after hour passed--and, driven by a thousand
thoughts--tormented by the direst pangs of memory--still the stranger
hurried along the winding shores. Morning found him many miles from
Treby. He did not stop till the appearance of another village put a
limit to solitude, and he returned upon his steps.
Those who could guess his crime, could alone divine the combat of life
and death waging in his heart. He had, through accident and
forgetfulness, left his pistols on the table of his chamber at the inn,
or, in some of the wildest of the paroxysms of despair, they had ended
all. To die, he fondly hoped, was to destroy memory and to defeat
remorse; and yet there arose within his mind that feeling, mysterious
and inexplicable to common reason, which generates a desire to expiate
and to atone. Should he be the cause of good to the friendless orphan,
bequeathed so vainly to his victim, would not that, in some sort,
compensate for his crime? Would it not double it to have destroyed her,
and also the good of which she would have been the author? The very
finger of God pointed to this act, since the child's little hand had
arrested his arm at the fatal moment when he believed that no interval
of a second's duration intervened between him and the grave. Then, to
aid those dim religious misgivings, came the manly wish to protect the
oppressed and assist the helpless. The struggle was long and terrible.
Now he made up his mind that it was cowardice to postpone his
resolve--that to live was to stamp himself poltron and traitor. And now
again, he felt that the true cowardice was to die--to fly from the
consequences of his actions, and the burden of existence. He gazed upon
the dim waste of waters, as if from its misty skirt some vision would
arise to guide or to command. He cast his eyes upward to interrogate the
silent stars--the roaring of the tide appeared to assume an inorganic
voice, and to murmur hoarsely, "Live! miserable wretch! Dare you hope
for the repose which your victim enjoys? Know that the guilty are
unworthy to die--that is the reward of innocence!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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