Adoptees -- Fiction; Fathers and daughters -- Fiction
"My dearest father," said Elizabeth, "you cannot deceive me. I penetrate
your motives, but you wholly mistake. You would force me also to mistake
your character, but I know you too well. You never form transitory
friendships; you take no pleasure in the ordinary run of human
intercourse. You inquire; you seek for instruction; you endeavour to
confer benefits; but you have no happiness except such as you derive
from your heart, and that is not easily impressed. Did you not for many
long years continue faithful to one idea--adhere to one image--devote
yourself to one, one only, despite all that separated you? Did not the
impediment you found to the fulfilment of your visions blight your whole
life, and bring you here? Pardon me if I allude to these things. I
cannot be to you what she was, but you can no more banish me from your
heart and imagination than you could her. I know that you cannot. We are
not parent and child," she continued, playfully, "but we have a strong
resemblance on one point--fidelity is our characteristic; we will not
speak of this to others, they might think that we boasted. I am not
quite sure that it is not a defect; at least in some cases, as with you
it proved a misfortune. To me it can never be such: it repays itself. I
cannot leave you, whatever befalls. If Gerard Neville is hereafter lost
to me, I cannot help it; it would kill me to fall off from you. I must
follow the natural, the irresistible bent of my character.
"To-morrow, the day after to-morrow, we will speak more of this. What is
necessary for your happiness, be assured, I will fulfil without
repining; but now, dearest father, let us not speak of the future now;
my heart is too full of the present--the future appears to me a dream
never to be arrived at. Oh, how more than blessed I shall be when the
future, the long future, shall grow into interest and importance!"
They were interrupted. One person came in, and then another, and the
appalling details of the morrow effectually banished all thoughts of
plans, the necessity of which Falkner wished to impress on his young
companion. He also was obliged to give himself up to present cares. He
received all, he talked to all, with a serious but unembarrassed air:
while Elizabeth sat shuddering by, wiping away her tears unseen, and
turning her dimmed eyes from one to the other, pale and miserable. We
have fortitude and resignation for ourselves; but when those beloved are
in peril we can only weep and pray. Sheltered in a dusky corner, a
little retreated behind Falkner, she watched, she listened to all, and
her heart almost broke. "Leave him! after this leave him!" she thought,
"a prey to such memories? Oh, may all good angels desert me when I
become so vile a wretch!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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