Famous funny fellows : $b Brief biographical sketches of American humoristsClemens, William Montgomery
History
Famous funny fellows : $b Brief biographical sketches of American humorists
Clemens, William Montgomery
American wit and humor -- History and criticism; Humorists, American -- Biography
Shaw has written many witty things besides his quaint “Proverbs,”
which made him famous. The following is an example:
THE HEIGHT OF SUBLIMITY.
AN ADVERTISEMENT BY JOSH BILLINGS.
I kan sell for eighteen hundred and thirty-nine dollars, a pallas,
a sweet and pensive retirement, located on the virgin banks of the
Hudson, kontaining 85 acres. The land is luxuriously divided by
the hand of natur and art, into pastor and tillage, into plain and
deklivity, into stern abruptness and the dallianse ov moss-tufted
medder; streams of sparkling gladness (thick with trout) danse
through this wilderness of buty, tow the low musik of the kricket and
grasshopper. The evergreen sighs az the evening zephir flits through
its shadowy buzzum, and the aspen trembles like the love-smitten
hart of a damsell. Fruits of the tropicks, in golden buty, melt on
the bows, and the bees go heavy and sweet from the fields to their
garnering hives. The stables are worthy of the steeds of Nimrod or
the studs of Akilles, and its henery was bilt expressly for the birds
of paradice; while somber in the distance, like the cave of a hermit,
glimpses are caught ov the dog-house. Here poets have come and warbled
their laze, here sculpters have cut, here painters hav robbed the
scene of dreamy landskapes, and here the philosopher diskovered the
stun which made him the alkimist ov natur. As the young moon hangs
like a curting ov silver from the blue breast of the ski, an angel
may be seen each night dansing with golden tip-toes on the grass. (N.
B.--The angel goes with the place.)
To show what Josh’s Proverbs are like, I annex a few as a finale to
this sketch:
PROVERBS.
Thare haz been menny a hero born, lived and died unknown, just for the
want ov an opportunity.
Thare ain’t nothing that will sho the virtues and vices of a man in so
vivid a light as profuse prosperity.
It is a good deal ov a bore to have others luv us more than we luv
them.
Mi dear boy, allwuss keep sumthing in reserve. The man who can jump
six inches further than he ever haz jumpt, iz a hard customer to beat.
Thare ain’t nothing on arth that will take the starch so klean out ov
us, as to git kaught bi the phellow we are trying to ketch.
JAY CHARLTON GOLDSMITH.
Thirty-eight or forty years ago, Jay Charlton Goldsmith, of the New
York Herald, was ushered into the world with little if any ceremony.
He was born in a small village in eastern New York, not far from the
great metropolis. Like other dutiful sons, Jay pleased his parents by
attending school until he was thirteen years of age. He then entered
a lawyer’s office and mingled with his legal learning the study of
phonography. About this time he began acting as correspondent for the
Herald from the rural district wherein he lived. At the age of sixteen
he was one of the editors of the Register, a small evening paper
published at Patterson, New Jersey.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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