Well, anyhow, I had been making plans to put Cassius and his band into a supra-super-colossal extravaganza that would out Florenz Ziegfeld. It was about six months after that mad night at the Cockroach that rehearsals were over, the show was prepared, the public waited with bated breath and fish-hooks to see what had been the most highly touted production in a decade. Then that night. I can remember it as if it were twelve years ago. (As a matter of fact, it WAS twelve years ago). The marquees blazoned their messages to the crowd that had formed a line _fourteen_ times around the block in front of the Garden. New York had turned out en masse. And, as I said, those marquees! THE AARDVARK FOLLIES starring CASSIUS Q. AARDVARK with RUBIN, OLGA and KETANYA SCHWARTZ, MILTON BERLE, LAURENCE OLIVIER, LIONEL BIRDBATH and others an extravaganza to out-ganza all extras!! STANDING ROOM ONLY How d'y'like that? SRO signs up, _and we hadn't even opened yet_! Well, when that curtain rose and the Aardvark came out on the backs of seventy raging rhinocerii, the crowd went into fits. And when the Schwartz girls danced the dance of the 8-1/2 x 11 Kleenex, you could have sworn that the rafters would buckle. And when Rubin did his imitation of the president (Oh that imitation of _Mamie_!), the Garden sounded as though 12 billion Zulus were singing, "TIDE'S in, Smirtz out." Thirteen weeks went by with two shows a day except when Cassy got tired, and the money was rolling in. We had to save a box seat each night for Impelliterri, otherwise the cops would have closed us down. It wasn't exactly blackmail, I don't blame him a bit, that was one helluva show. However, all good things must come to an end. We had signed on a pair of kids named ... uh ... what in the ... oh yeah--yeah, that's it, Martin, for some fill-in stuff 'tween acts (we had to let 'em go eventually. We found 'em carrying on with one of the hat-check girls name of Monroe, or something. Oh well.) and Cass had taken off a week to go down to Monte Carlo for some sun and air. That year, the rage of the Riviera were two three-headed girls named Sally Louise Lee Munglefootz and Gertrude Alice Roberta Hitslongle (they called them SLL and GAR for short), and when they saw Cassius.... Well, it went on for three gay, mad days till I sent a wire back to New York to tell Olga and Ketanya to get down to le ville de mazuma to save Cass-boy from what might develop into a septangle.