Fan : The Story of a Young Girl's LifeHudson, W. H. (William Henry)
General
Fan : The Story of a Young Girl's Life
Hudson, W. H. (William Henry)
Fiction
perfectly unconscious of its dirtiness, which seemed very wonderful in
one so dainty-looking--and start a little independent child's gossip
with it, away from Mrs. Churton and the elders of the cottage. And
she would win the little bucolic heart, and kiss its lips, sweet and
fragrant to her in spite of the dirt surrounding them; and by-and-by
the mother's sharp expression would soften when she met the tender grey
eyes; and thereafter there would be a new happiness when Fan appeared,
and if Mrs. Churton came without her, there would be sullen looks from
the little one, and inquiries from its mother after “your beautiful
young lady from London.”
All this was inexpressibly grateful to Mrs. Churton, all the more
grateful when she noticed that these visits they made together to the
very poor seemed to have the effect of drawing the girl more and more to
her. To her mind, all this signified that her religious teachings were
sinking into the girl's heart, that her own lofty ideal was becoming
increasingly beautiful to that young mind.
But she was making a great mistake--one which is frequently made by
those who do not know how easily some Christian virtues and qualities
are simulated by the unregenerate. All the doctrinal religion she had
imparted to Fan remained on the surface, and had not, and, owing to some
defect in her or for some other cause, perhaps could not sink down to
become rooted in her heart. After Mrs. Churton had, as she imagined,
utterly and for ever smashed and pulverised all Fan's preconceived and
wildly erroneous ideas about right and wrong, the girl's mind for some
time had been in a state of chaos with regard to such matters. But
gradually, by means of a kind of spiritual chemistry, the original
elements of her peculiar system came together, and crystallised again in
the old form. Her mental attitude was not like that of the downright and
doggedly-conservative Jan Coggan, who scorned to turn his back on “his
own old ancient doctrines merely for the sake of getting to heaven.”
There was nothing stubborn or downright in her disposition, and she was
hardly conscious of the change going on in her--the reversion to her own
past. She assented readily to everything she was told by so good a woman
as Mrs. Churton, and in a way she believed it all, and read her Bible
and several pious books besides, and got the whole catechism by heart.
It was all in her memory--many beautiful things, with others too
dreadful to think about; but it could not make her life any different,
or supplant her old simple beliefs, and she could never grasp the idea
that a living faith in all these things was absolutely essential, or
that they were really more than ornamental. Her lively sympathy for
those of her own class was the only reason for the pleasure she took in
going among the poor, and it also explained her natural unconstrained
manner towards them, which so quickly won their hearts. During these
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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