Fan : The Story of a Young Girl's LifeHudson, W. H. (William Henry)
General
Fan : The Story of a Young Girl's Life
Hudson, W. H. (William Henry)
Fiction
“I mean that I do not think that going to church and--reading the Bible,
and praying, and all that, make any difference. I think we can be
good without that--don't you, Miss Churton? I wish I could tell you
better--it seems so hard to say it. But Mrs. Churton never said anything
to me about you--in that way--I mean about your religion.”
Constance listened to all this with the greatest surprise. That this
very simple-minded girl, impressible as soft wax as it seemed to her,
should think independently about such a subject as religion, and that
she should hold views so opposed to those which Mrs. Churton had for
several months been diligently instilling into her mind, seemed almost
incredible. The second statement was nearly as surprising, so sure had
she been that her suspicions were well-founded. “Then I have been very
unjust to my mother in this instance,” she said, “and am very sorry I
spoke so warmly about older things which should be forgotten.” After an
interval of silence she continued, withdrawing her hand from the other,
“I can make no further guess, Fan; and if you have any secret reason for
keeping apart from me you must forgive me for speaking to you and trying
to win your confidence.”
Fan was more distressed than ever now, and the tears started to her eyes
as she felt that the distance was once more widening between them, and
that it all depended on herself whether she was to drink from this sweet
cup or set it down again scarcely tasted.
“I must tell you, Miss Churton,” she said at length; and then, not
without much hesitation and difficulty, she explained Miss Starbrow's
views with regard to the impossibility of a woman, or of a girl like
her, loving more than one person, or having more than one friend.
Constance gave a laugh, which, however, she quickly checked.
“Dear Fan,” she said, “does not your own heart tell you that it is all a
mistake? And if you feel that you do love me, do you not know from your
own experience, whether you hide the feeling or not, that your love for
others, and chiefly for so dear a friend as Miss Starbrow, remains just
as strong as before?”
Fan gladly answered in the affirmative.
“We are all liable to strange errors about different things, and Miss
Starbrow is certainly in error about this. Besides, my dear girl,
we can't always love or not love as we like; the feeling comes to us
spontaneously, like the wind that blows where it listeth. Be sure that
we are not such poor creatures that we cannot love more than one person
at a time. But Miss Starbrow is not singular in her opinion--if it is
her opinion. I have heard men say that although a man's large heart can
harbour many friendships, a woman is incapable of having more than one
friendship at any time. That is a man's opinion, and therefore it is not
strange that it should be a wrong one, since only a woman can know the
things of a woman. How strange that Miss Starbrow should have so mean an
opinion of her own sex!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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