Fan : The Story of a Young Girl's LifeHudson, W. H. (William Henry)
General
Fan : The Story of a Young Girl's Life
Hudson, W. H. (William Henry)
Fiction
“My mother has prejudiced you against me, Fan. She imagines that if we
were intimate and friendly together my influence would be injurious,
that it would destroy the effect of the religious instruction she
gives.”
“I do not understand you,” said Fan, looking unmistakably puzzled.
“No? And yet I thought it so plain. My mother has told you that I am not
religious--in _her_ way, that is--that I am not a Christian. She does
not know really; I do not go about telling people what I believe or
disbelieve, and prefer to say nothing about religion for fear of hurting
any person's feelings. But that is not her way, and through what she has
said at the vicarage, and elsewhere about me I am now looked upon as
one to be avoided. I see you are reading _The Pleasures of Hope_. Let me
have it. Do you see this passage with pencil-marks against it, and all
the words underscored?
“Ah me! the laurel wreath that Murder rears,
Blood-nursed, and watered by the widow's tears,
Seems not so foul, so tainted, and so dread,
As waves the nightshade round the sceptic head.
“These words were marked for my benefit--this is what she thinks of
me--her own daughter--because I cannot agree with her in everything
she believes!” And here she flung the volume disdainfully on the grass.
“When I agreed to be your teacher I never imagined that such things
would have been put into your head. Her anxiety about your spiritual
welfare made it seem right in her eyes to do so, I suppose. But I should
not have harmed you, my dear girl, or interfered with your religion in
any way; she might have given me that much credit. When she knew how
lonely my life was, and how much your affection would have been to me,
it was unkind of her to set you also against me from the first.”
All this came as a complete surprise on her listener, who now for the
first time began to understand the reason of the estrangement of mother
and daughter. But Constance was allowed to finish her speech without
interruption. She said more than she had meant to say, but her
feelings had carried her away, and when she finished it was with a
half-suppressed sob.
“Dear Miss Churton, I am so sorry you are unhappy,” said Fan at length,
taking her hand. “I did not know you were not a Christian, nor why it
was that you and Mrs. Churton were always so cold to each other. But
it would have made no difference if I had known, because--I am not
religious.”
Constance looked at her.
“What do you mean by that, Fan?” she said. “It is my turn now, it seems,
to say that I do not understand you.”
The other hesitated; then she remembered the carpenter's words, and
began a little doubtfully:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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