Fan : The Story of a Young Girl's LifeHudson, W. H. (William Henry)
General
Fan : The Story of a Young Girl's Life
Hudson, W. H. (William Henry)
Fiction
After Merton's departure from Eyethorne things drifted back to their old
state at Wood End House, the slight change in Constance becoming less
and less perceptible, until the time came when Fan began to think, with
a secret feeling of relief, that the visitor had after all made only a
passing impression, which was already fading out of her teacher's mind.
But by-and-by there came from London a letter and a packet of books and
periodicals for Constance, and Fan remarked the glad excitement in her
friend's face when she carried her treasures away to her room, and her
subsequent silence on the subject. And after that Constance was
again much occupied with her own thoughts, which, to judge from her
countenance, were happy ones; and Fan quickly came to the conclusion
that the books and letter were from Merton. Mrs. Churton, who knew
nothing about this new acquaintance, imagined only that her daughter had
sucked out all the impiety contained in the books she already possessed,
and had sent for a fresh supply. For, she argued, if there had been
nothing wrong in the books Constance would have allowed her to read or
see them. She made herself very unhappy over it, and was more incensed
than ever against her sinful daughter, but she said nothing, and only
showed her dissatisfaction in her cold, distrustful manner.
Another bitterness in her cup at this period was her inability to
revive Fan's interest in sacred things, for she had begun to notice an
increasing indifference in the girl. All the religious teaching, over
which she had spent so much time and labour, seemed to have failed of
its effect. She had planted, apparently in the most promising soil, and
the vicar and the vicar's wife had watered, and God had not given the
increase. This was a new mystery which she could not understand, in
spite of much pondering over it, much praying for light, and many
conversations on the subject with her religious friends. So sweet and
good and pure-hearted and pliant a girl; but alas! alas! it was only
that ephemeral fictitious kind of goodness which springs from temper or
disposition, which has no value in the eyes of Heaven, cannot stand the
shocks of time and circumstance. It was not through any remissness of
her own; she had never ceased her efforts, yet now after many months she
was fain to confess that this young girl, who had promised such great
things, seemed further than at the beginning from that holiness which
is not of the earth, and which delights only in the contemplation of
heavenly things. She could see it now with what painful clearness! for
her eyes in such matters were preternaturally sharp, like those of a
sailor who has followed the sea all his life with regard to atmospheric
changes; no sooner would the lesson begin than all brightness would fade
from that too expressive countenance, and the girl would listen with
manifest effort, striving to keep her attention from wandering, striving
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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