Fan : The Story of a Young Girl's LifeHudson, W. H. (William Henry)
General
Fan : The Story of a Young Girl's Life
Hudson, W. H. (William Henry)
Fiction
She had never been out so late before, and hurrying along the wet
pavement, trembling lest she should run against some Moon Street
acquaintance, and stung with the thought of the miserable scene in store
for her should she be compelled to return empty-handed, she walked not
less than half a mile before pausing. Then she drew forth the concealed
matches and began the piteous pleading--“Will you please buy a box of
matches?” spoken in a low tremulous voice to each passer-by, unheeded by
those who were preoccupied with their own thoughts, by all others
looked scornfully at, until at last, tired and dispirited, she turned to
retrace the long hopeless road. And now the thoughts of home became at
every yard of the way more painful and even terrifying to her. What a
misery to have to face it--to have to think of it! But to run away and
hide herself from her parents, and escape for ever from her torturing
apprehensions, never entered her mind. She loved her poor drink-degraded
mother; there was no one else for her to love, and where her mother was
there must be her only home. But the thought of her father was like a
nightmare to her; even the remembrance of his often brutal treatment
and language made her tremble. Father she had always called him, but for
some months past, since he had been idle, or out of work as he called
it, he had become more and more harsh towards her, not often addressing
her without calling her “barstard,” usually with the addition of one of
his pet expletives, profane or sanguineous. She had always feared and
shrunk from him, regarding him as her enemy and the chief troubler of
her peace; and his evident dislike of her had greatly increased during
her last year at the Board School, when he had more than once been
brought before a magistrate and fined for her non-attendance. When that
time was over, and he was no longer compelled by law to keep her at
school, he had begun driving her out to beg in the streets, to make good
what her “book-larning,” as he contemptuously expressed it, had cost
him. And the miserable wife had allowed it, after some violent scenes
and occasional protests, until the illegal pence brought in each
day grew to be an expected thing, and formed now a constant cause of
wrangling between husband and wife, each trying to secure the lion's
share, only to spend it at the public-house.
At last, without one penny of that small sum of threepence, which she
had mentally fixed on as the price of a domestic truce, she had got back
to within fifteen minutes' walk of Moon Street. Her anxiety had made her
more eager perhaps, and had given a strange tremor to her voice and made
her eyes more eloquent in their silent pathos, when two young men pushed
by her, walking fast and conversing, but she did not let them pass
without repeating the oft-repeated words.
“No, indeed, you little fraud!” exclaimed one of the young men; while
his companion, glancing back, looked curiously into her face.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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