Fanny and the Servant ProblemJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Fanny and the Servant Problem
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Comedy plays; English drama; Married people -- Drama
VERNON. Oh, I’m not thinking of you. I’m thinking of myself. I want
you. I fell in love with you because you were pretty and charming.
There’s something else a man wants in his wife besides that. I’ve found
it. [_He jumps up_, _goes over to her_, _brushing aside things in his
way_.] I’m not claiming it as a right; you can go if you like. You can
earn your own living, I know. But you shan’t have anybody else. You’ll
be Lady Bantock and nobody else—as long as I live. [_He has grown quite
savage_.]
FANNY [_she bites her lip to keep back the smile that wants to come_].
That cuts both ways, you know.
VERNON. I don’t want anybody else.
FANNY [_she stretches out her hand and lays it on his_]. Won’t it be too
hard for you? You’ll have to tell them all—your friends—everybody.
VERNON. They’ve got to be told in any case. If you are here, for them
to see, they’ll be able to understand—those that have got any sense.
_Bennet comes in with breakfast_, _for two_, _on a tray_. _He places it
on a table_.
FANNY [_she has risen_, _she goes over to him_]. Good morning, uncle.
[_She puts up her face_. _He stares_, _but she persists_. _Bennet
kisses her_.] Lord Bantock—[_she looks at Vernon_]—has a request to make
to you. He wishes me to remain here as his wife. I am willing to do so,
provided you give your consent.
VERNON. Quite right, Bennet. I ought to have asked for it before. I
apologise. Will you give your consent to my marriage with your niece?
FANNY. One minute. You understand what it means? From the moment you
give it—if you do give it—I shall be Lady Bantock, your mistress.
BENNET. My dear Fanny! My dear Vernon! I speak, for the first and last
time, as your uncle. I am an old-fashioned person, and my ideas, I have
been told, are those of my class. But observation has impressed it upon
me that success in any scheme depends upon each person being fit for
their place. Yesterday, in the interests of you both, I should have
refused my consent. To-day, I give it with pleasure, feeling sure I am
handing over to Lord Bantock a wife in every way fit for her position.
[_Kissing her_, _he gives her to Vernon_, _who grips his hand_. _He
returns to the table_.] Breakfast, your ladyship, is quite ready.
_They take their places at the table_. _Fanny takes off her hat_,
_Bennet takes off the covers_.
[CURTAIN]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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