Fanny Burney and Her Friends: Select Passages from Her Diary and Other WritingsBurney, Fanny
General
Fanny Burney and Her Friends: Select Passages from Her Diary and Other Writings
Burney, Fanny
Burney, Fanny, 1752-1840 -- Friends and associates
At ten o’clock, Miss Burney went to her own room to be in readiness for
her usual summons to the Queen:
“Two long hours I waited—alone, in silence, in ignorance, in dread! I
thought they would never be over; at twelve o’clock I seemed to have
spent two whole days in waiting.... I then opened my door, to listen,
in the passage, if anything seemed stirring. Not a sound could I hear.
My apartment seemed wholly separated from life and motion. Whoever was
in the house kept at the other end, and not even a servant crossed the
stairs or passage by my rooms.
“I would fain have crept on myself, anywhere in the world, for some
inquiry, or to see but a face, and hear a voice, but I did not dare
risk losing a sudden summons.
“I re-entered my room, and there passed another endless hour, in
conjectures too horrible to relate.
“A little after one, I heard a step—my door opened—and a page said I
must come to the Queen.
“I could hardly get along—hardly force myself into the room; dizzy I
felt, almost to falling. But the first shock passed, I became more
collected. Useful, indeed, proved the previous lesson of the evening:
it had stilled, if not mortified my mind, which had else, in a scene
such as this, been all tumult and emotion.
“My poor Royal Mistress! never can I forget her countenance—pale,
ghastly pale she looked; she was seated to be undressed, and attended
by Lady Elizabeth Waldegrave and Miss Goldsworthy; her whole frame was
disordered, yet she was still and quiet.
“These two ladies assisted me to undress her, or rather I assisted
them, for they were firmer, from being longer present; my shaking
hands and blinded eyes could scarce be of any use.
“I gave her some camphor julep, which had been ordered her by Sir
George Baker. ‘How cold I am!’ she cried, and put her hand on mine;
marble it felt! and went to my heart’s core!
“The King, at the instance of Sir George Baker, had consented to sleep
in the next apartment, as the Queen was ill. For himself, he would
listen to nothing. Accordingly, a bed was put up for him, by his own
order, in the Queen’s second dressing-room, immediately adjoining to
the bedroom. He would not be further removed. Miss Goldsworthy was to
sit up with her, by the King’s direction.
“I would fain have remained in the little dressing-room, on the other
side the bedroom, but she would not permit it.... I went to bed,
determined to preserve my strength to the utmost of my ability, for
the service of my unhappy mistress. I could not, however, sleep. I do
not suppose an eye was closed in the house all night.
“6TH.—I rose at six, dressed in haste by candle-light, and unable to
wait for my summons in a suspense so awful, I stole along the passage
in the dark, a thick fog intercepting all faint light, to see if I
could meet with Sandys,[91] or anyone, to tell me how the night had
passed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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