MRS KNOX. [greatly agitated] Margaret: dont talk like that. I cant bear
to hear you talking wickedly. I can bear to hear the children of this
world talking vainly and foolishly in the language of this world. But
when I hear you justifying your wickedness in the words of grace, it's
too horrible: it sounds like the devil making fun of religion. Ive tried
to bring you up to learn the happiness of religion. Ive waited for you
to find out that happiness is within ourselves and doesnt come from
outward pleasures. Ive prayed oftener than you think that you might be
enlightened. But if all my hopes and all my prayers are to come to this,
that you mix up my very words and thoughts with the promptings of the
devil, then I dont know what I shall do: I dont indeed: itll kill me.
MARGARET. You shouldnt have prayed for me to be enlightened if you didnt
want me to be enlightened. If the truth were known, I suspect we all
want our prayers to be answered only by halves: the agreeable halves.
Your prayer didnt get answered by halves, mother. Youve got more than
you bargained for in the way of enlightenment. I shall never be the same
again. I shall never speak in the old way again. Ive been set free from
this silly little hole of a house and all its pretences. I know now that
I am stronger than you and Papa. I havnt found that happiness of yours
that is within yourself; but Ive found strength. For good or evil I am
set free; and none of the things that used to hold me can hold me now.
_Knox comes back, unable to bear his suspense._
KNOX. How long more are you going to keep me waiting, Amelia? Do you
think I'm made of iron? Whats the girl done? What are we going to do?
MRS KNOX. Shes beyond my control, Jo, and beyond yours. I cant even pray
for her now; for I dont know rightly what to pray for.
KNOX. Dont talk nonsense, woman: is this a time for praying? Does
anybody know? Thats what we have to consider now. If only we can keep it
dark, I don't care for anything else.
MARGARET. Dont hope for that, father. Mind: I'll tell everybody. It
ought to be told. It must be told.
KNOX. Hold your tongue, you young hussy; or go out of my house this
instant.
MARGARET. I'm quite ready. [She takes her hat and turns to the door].
KNOX. [throwing himself in front of it] Here! where are you going?
MRS KNOX. [rising] You mustnt turn her out, Jo! I'll go with her if she
goes.
KNOX. Who wants to turn her out? But is she going to ruin us? To let
everybody know of her disgrace and shame? To tear me down from the
position Ive made for myself and you by forty years hard struggling?
MARGARET. Yes: I'm going to tear it all down. It stands between us and
everything. I'll tell everybody.
KNOX. Magsy, my child: dont bring down your father's hairs with sorrow
to the grave. Theres only one thing I care about in the world: to keep
this dark. I'm your father. I ask you here on my knees--in the dust, so
to speak--not to let it out.
MARGARET. I'll tell everybody.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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