_Bobby, lost to all sense of adult dignity, puts out his tongue at
Margaret. Margaret, equally furious, catches his protended countenance a
box on the cheek. He hurls himself her. They wrestle._
BOBBY. Cat! I'll teach you.
MARGARET. Pig! Beast! [She forces him backwards on the table]. Now where
are you?
DORA. [calling] Juggins, Juggins. Theyll murder one another.
JUGGINS. [throwing open the door, and announcing] Monsieur Duvallet.
_Duvallet enters. Sudden cessation of hostilities, and dead silence. The
combatants separate by the whole width of the room. Juggins withdraws._
DUVALLET. I fear I derange you.
MARGARET. Not at all. Bobby: you really are a beast: Monsieur Duvallet
will think I'm always fighting.
DUVALLET. Practising jujitsu or the new Iceland wrestling. Admirable,
Miss Knox. The athletic young Englishwoman is an example to all Europe.
[Indicating Bobby] Your instructor, no doubt. Monsieur-- [he bows].
BOBBY. [bowing awkwardly] How d'y' do?
MARGARET. [to Bobby] I'm so sorry, Bobby: I asked Monsieur Duvallet
to call for me here; and I forgot to tell you. [Introducing] Monsieur
Duvallet: Miss Four hundred and seven. Mr Bobby Gilbey. [Duvallet bows].
I really dont know how to explain our relationships. Bobby and I are
like brother and sister.
DUVALLET. Perfectly. I noticed it.
MARGARET. Bobby and Miss--Miss----
DORA. Delaney, dear. [To Duvallet, bewitchingly] Darling Dora, to real
friends.
MARGARET. Bobby and Dora are--are--well, not brother and sister.
DUVALLET. [with redoubled comprehension] Perfectly.
MARGARET. Bobby has spent the last fortnight in prison. You dont mind,
do you?
DUVALLET. No, naturally. _I_ have spent the last fortnight in prison.
_The conversation drops. Margaret renews it with an effort._
MARGARET. Dora has spent the last fortnight in prison.
DUVALLET. Quite so. I felicitate Mademoiselle on her enlargement.
DORA. _Trop merci_, as they say in Boulogne. No call to be stiff with
one another, have we?
_Juggins comes in._
JUGGINS. Beg pardon, sir. Mr and Mrs Gilbey are coming up the street.
DORA. Let me absquatulate [making for the door].
JUGGINS. If you wish to leave without being seen, you had better step
into my pantry and leave afterwards.
DORA. Right oh! [She bursts into song] Hide me in the meat safe til the
cop goes by. Hum the dear old music as his step draws nigh. [She goes
out on tiptoe].
MARGARET. I wont stay here if she has to hide. I'll keep her company in
the pantry. [She follows Dora].
BOBBY. Lets all go. We cant have any fun with the Mar here. I say,
Juggins: you can give us tea in the pantry, cant you?
JUGGINS. Certainly, sir.
BOBBY. Right. Say nothing to my mother. You dont mind, Mr. Doovalley, do
you?
DUVALLET. I shall be charmed.
BOBBY. Right you are. Come along. [At the door] Oh, by the way, Juggins,
fetch down that concertina from my room, will you?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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