KNOX. Martinique! GILBEY. Messina! MRS GILBEY. The plague in China! MRS KNOX. The floods in France! GILBEY. My Bobby in Wormwood Scrubbs! KNOX. Margaret in Holloway! GILBEY. And now my footman tells me his brother's a duke! KNOX. | No! | MRS KNOX. | Whats that? GILBEY. Just before he let you in. A duke! Here has everything been respectable from the beginning of the world, as you may say, to the present day; and all of a sudden everything is turned upside down. MRS KNOX. It's like in the book of Revelations. But I do say that unless people have happiness within themselves, all the earthquakes, all the floods, and all the prisons in the world cant make them really happy. KNOX. It isnt alone the curious things that are happening, but the unnatural way people are taking them. Why, theres Margaret been in prison, and she hasnt time to go to all the invitations shes had from people that never asked her before. GILBEY. I never knew we could live without being respectable. MRS GILBEY. Oh, Rob, what a thing to say! Who says we're not respectable? GILBEY. Well, it's not what I call respectable to have your children in and out of gaol. KNOX. Oh come, Gilbey! we're not tramps because weve had, as it were, an accident. GILBEY. It's no use, Knox: look it in the face. Did I ever tell you my father drank? KNOX. No. But I knew it. Simmons told me. GILBEY. Yes: he never could keep his mouth quiet: he told me your aunt was a kleptomaniac. MRS KNOX. It wasnt true, Mr Gilbey. She used to pick up handkerchiefs if she saw them lying about; but you might trust her with untold silver. GILBEY. My Uncle Phil was a teetotaller. My father used to say to me: Rob, he says, dont you ever have a weakness. If you find one getting a hold on you, make a merit of it, he says. Your Uncle Phil doesnt like spirits; and he makes a merit of it, and is chairman of the Blue Ribbon Committee. I do like spirits; and I make a merit of it, and I'm the King Cockatoo of the Convivial Cockatoos. Never put yourself in the wrong, he says. I used to boast about what a good boy Bobby was. Now I swank about what a dog he is; and it pleases people just as well. What a world it is! KNOX. It turned my blood cold at first to hear Margaret telling people about Holloway; but it goes down better than her singing used to. MRS KNOX. I never thought she sang right after all those lessons we paid for. GILBEY. Lord, Knox, it was lucky you and me got let in together. I tell you straight, if it hadnt been for Bobby's disgrace, I'd have broke up the firm.