The republic of Madagonia had been long and well represented at the court of the King of Patagascar by an officer called a Dazie, but one day the Madagonian Parliament conferred upon him the superior rank of Dandee. The next day after being apprised of his new dignity he hastened to inform the King of Patagascar. "Ah, yes, I understand," said the King; "you have been promoted and given increased pay and allowances. There was an appropriation?" "Yes, your Majesty." "And you have now two heads, have you not?" "Oh, no, your Majesty--only one, I assure you." "Indeed? And how many legs and arms?" "Two of each, Sire--only two of each." "And only one body?" "Just a single body, as you perceive." Thoughtfully removing his crown and scratching the royal head, the monarch was silent a moment, and then he said: "I fancy that appropriation has been misapplied. You seem to be about the same kind of idiot that you were before." An Invitation A Pious Person who had overcharged his paunch with dead bird by way of attesting his gratitude for escaping the many calamities which Heaven had sent upon others, fell asleep at table and dreamed. He thought he lived in a country where turkeys were the ruling class, and every year they held a feast to manifest their sense of Heaven's goodness in sparing their lives to kill them later. One day, about a week before one of these feasts, he met the Supreme Gobbler, who said: "You will please get yourself into good condition for the Thanksgiving dinner." "Yes, your Excellency," replied the Pious Person, delighted, "I shall come hungry, I assure you. It is no small privilege to dine with your Excellency." The Supreme Gobbler eyed him for a moment in silence; then he said: "As one of the lower domestic animals, you cannot be expected to know much, but you might know something. Since you do not, you will permit me to point out that being asked to dinner is one thing; being asked to dine is another and a different thing." With this significant remark the Supreme Gobbler left him, and thenceforward the Pious Person dreamed of himself as white meat and dark until rudely awakened by decapitation. The Ashes of Madame Blavatsky