"It is pretty much the same way here. Instead of using an opera-glass they view the acts of their opponents with _me_!" As these patient drudges were mingling their tears, they were notified that they must go on duty again, for one of the political parties had nominated a thief and was about to hold a gratification meeting. A Causeway A Rich Woman having returned from abroad disembarked at the foot of Knee- deep Street, and was about to walk to her hotel through the mud. "Madam," said a Policeman, "I cannot permit you to do that; you would soil your shoes and stockings." "Oh, that is of no importance, really," replied the Rich Woman, with a cheerful smile. "But, madam, it is needless; from the wharf to the hotel, as you observe, extends an unbroken line of prostrate newspaper men who crave the honour of having you walk upon them." "In that case," she said, seating herself in a doorway and unlocking her satchel, "I shall have to put on my rubber boots." Two in Trouble Meeting a fat and patriotic Statesman on his way to Washington to beseech the President for an office, an idle Tramp accosted him and begged twenty- five cents with which to buy a suit of clothes. "Melancholy wreck," said the Statesman, "what brought you to this state of degradation? Liquor, I suppose." "I am temperate to the verge of absurdity," replied the Tramp. "My foible was patriotism; I was ruined by the baneful habit of trying to serve my country. What ruined you?" "Indolence." The Witch's Steed A Broomstick which had long served a witch as a steed complained of the nature of its employment, which it thought degrading. "Very well," said the Witch, "I will give you work in which you will be associated with intellect--you will come in contact with brains. I shall present you to a housewife." "What!" said the Broomstick, "do you consider the hands of a housewife intellectual?" "I referred," said the Witch, "to the head of her good man." The All Dog A Lion seeing a Poodle fell into laughter at the ridiculous spectacle. "Who ever saw so small a beast?" he said. "It is very true," said the Poodle, with austere dignity, "that I am small; but, sir, I beg to observe that I am all dog." The Farmer's Friend A Great Philanthropist who had thought of himself in connection with the Presidency and had introduced a bill into Congress requiring the Government to loan every voter all the money that he needed, on his personal security, was explaining to a Sunday-school at a railway station how much he had done for the country, when an angel looked down from Heaven and wept. "For example," said the Great Philanthropist, watching the teardrops pattering in the dust, "these early rains are of incalculable advantage to the farmer." Physicians Two