"What nature reared by centuries of toil, A scalawag in half a day can spoil; An equal fate for him may Heaven provide-- Damned in the moment of his tallest pride." At Large--One Temper A Turbulent Person was brought before a Judge to be tried for an assault with intent to commit murder, and it was proved that he had been variously obstreperous without apparent provocation, had affected the peripheries of several luckless fellow-citizens with the trunk of a small tree, and subsequently cleaned out the town. While trying to palliate these misdeeds, the defendant's Attorney turned suddenly to the Judge, saying: "Did your Honour ever lose your temper?" "I fine you twenty-five dollars for contempt of court!" roared the Judge, in wrath. "How dare you mention the loss of my temper in connection with this case?" After a moment's silence the Attorney said, meekly: "I thought my client might perhaps have found it." The Seeker and the Sought A Politician seeing a fat Turkey which he wanted for dinner, baited a hook with a grain of corn and dragged it before the fowl at the end of a long and almost invisible line. When the Turkey had swallowed the hook, the Politician ran, drawing the creature after him. "Fellow-citizens," he cried, addressing some turkey-breeders whom he met, "you observe that the man does not seek the bird, but the bird seeks the man. For this unsolicited and unexpected dinner I thank you with all my heart." His Fly-Speck Majesty A Distinguished Advocate of Republican Institutions was seen pickling his shins in the ocean. "Why don't you come out on dry land?" said the Spectator. "What are you in there for?" "Sir," replied the Distinguished Advocate of Republican Institutions, "a ship is expected, bearing His Majesty the King of the Fly-Speck Islands, and I wish to be the first to grasp the crowned hand." "But," said the Spectator, "you said in your famous speech before the Society for the Prevention of the Protrusion of Nail Heads from Plank Sidewalks that Kings were blood-smeared oppressors and hell-bound loafers." "My dear sir," said the Distinguished Advocate of Republican Institutions, without removing his eyes from the horizon, "you wander away into the strangest irrelevancies! I spoke of Kings in the abstract." The Pugilist's Diet The Trainer of a Pugilist consulted a Physician regarding the champion's diet. "Beef-steaks are too tender," said the Physician; "have his meat cut from the neck of a bull." "I thought the steaks more digestible," the Trainer explained. "That is very true," said the Physician; "but they do not sufficiently exercise the chin." The Old Man and the Pupil A Beautiful Old Man, meeting a Sunday-school Pupil, laid his hand tenderly upon the lad's head, saying: "Listen, my son, to the words of the wise and heed the advice of the righteous." "All right," said the Sunday-school Pupil; "go ahead."