After examining the papers, the King put them away and promised him an order on the Lord High Treasurer of the Extortion Department for a million tumtums. "And here," said the Ingenious Patriot, pulling another paper from another pocket, "are the working plans of a gun that I have invented, which will pierce that armour. Your Majesty's Royal Brother, the Emperor of Bang, is anxious to purchase it, but loyalty to your Majesty's throne and person constrains me to offer it first to your Majesty. The price is one million tumtums." Having received the promise of another check, he thrust his hand into still another pocket, remarking: "The price of the irresistible gun would have been much greater, your Majesty, but for the fact that its missiles can be so effectively averted by my peculiar method of treating the armour plates with a new--" The King signed to the Great Head Factotum to approach. "Search this man," he said, "and report how many pockets he has." "Forty-three, Sire," said the Great Head Factotum, completing the scrutiny. "May it please your Majesty," cried the Ingenious Patriot, in terror, "one of them contains tobacco." "Hold him up by the ankles and shake him," said the King; "then give him a check for forty-two million tumtums and put him to death. Let a decree issue declaring ingenuity a capital offence." Two Kings The King of Madagao, being engaged in a dispute with the King of Bornegascar, wrote him as follows: "Before proceeding further in this matter I demand the recall of your Minister from my capital." Greatly enraged by this impossible demand, the King of Bornegascar replied: "I shall not recall my Minister. Moreover, if you do not immediately retract your demand I shall withdraw him!" This threat so terrified the King of Madagao that in hastening to comply he fell over his own feet, breaking the Third Commandment. An Officer and a Thug A Chief of Police who had seen an Officer beating a Thug was very indignant, and said he must not do so any more on pain of dismissal. "Don't be too hard on me," said the Officer, smiling; "I was beating him with a stuffed club." "Nevertheless," persisted the Chief of Police, "it was a liberty that must have been very disagreeable, though it may not have hurt. Please do not repeat it." "But," said the Officer, still smiling, "it was a stuffed Thug." In attempting to express his gratification, the Chief of Police thrust out his right hand with such violence that his skin was ruptured at the arm-pit and a stream of sawdust poured from the wound. He was a stuffed Chief of Police. The Conscientious Official While a Division Superintendent of a railway was attending closely to his business of placing obstructions on the track and tampering with the switches he received word that the President of the road was about to discharge him for incompetency. "Good Heavens!" he cried; "there are more accidents on my division than on all the rest of the line."