The ordinary routine of life went on, untouched by mood or whim. It was
an especially busy season, but lately she had lost her hold on things,
and found it difficult to keep up even the little weekly salon in which
she had once taken such pride. To be mated with sorrow is little by
little to lose all vitality and youth; the lassitude that had come upon
Evelyn presently became physical, gripped her closer day by day, as she
strove against it with ever-weakening strength. Society had no longer
any power to amuse her; indeed she dreaded going out, lest she should be
forced to listen to more of Dora’s confidences about Farquharson.
Religion left her cold. At home, Brand was perhaps a trifle more
cynical than before; he had found her vulnerable spot, and turned his
knowledge to account. On those rare evenings when they were alone
together in the little flat at West Kensington (she often dined now in
her own room), she would surprise him sometimes watching her through
half-closed lids, and smiling as if at some private reminiscence.
"Why do you look at me like that?" she asked one night, when for the
third time she had met his mocking look fixed full upon her.
"Oh, I grant you it’s rather amazing that a man should find anything to
look at in his wife after so many years of marriage," said Brand,
flicking the ash from his cigarette. "You should be flattered at the
compliment. A husband’s tribute to his wife’s charms is worth at least
twice as much as that of any—other. By the way, our Secretary of State
for Foreign Affairs is mounting steadily up the ladder of fame, isn’t
he?"
"The papers seem to think well of him," said Evelyn coldly.
The postman’s knock at the door brought welcome interruption in the
shape of a bulky letter from Cummings. She took it to her room.
"By the time this reaches you I shall have set sail for the East once
more," he wrote. "I have got all the good I shall out of my trip; it’s
no use staying any longer. It was like you to try to make my father and
mother see me again—I knew they would not. Amongst many jealous
mistresses—ambition, pleasure, the quest of forgetfulness or peace—love
of home never loses her sway on a man’s heart. A man may travel far and
try to stifle, in other countries and other surroundings, the claims of
his own lands and his own people, but their voices compel him, until at
last he is bound either to obey or else for ever to cut himself adrift.
And for the future I shall cut myself adrift.
"It was like you, too, to collect all that array of good things for my
people; thank you for them all. Not one will be wasted, and I shall look
upon them with very especial gratitude, because you thought of me in
your own trouble.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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