"Order the victoria at once, James; I’m in a hurry."
Taking out her glasses, Lady Wereminster re-read the paragraph line by
line.
"Oh, if I had but seen Evelyn lately! But meeting Miss Beadon when I
ran in the other morning stopped my going for a week. ’Sussex’—and
’politics’!—Oh, Evelyn, Evelyn!"
*CHAPTER II*
"The cleverest of all devils is opportunity."—VIELAND.
"Evelyn, you must help me," said Miss Beadon angrily. "How can you say
no, and be so horribly cruel? It’s such a tiny favour to ask; it shan’t
cost you a penny, I promise, if you’ll only come. I’ll let the carriage
pick you up." She was on the verge of tears.
Evelyn, to whom tears came with difficulty, thought that they caused
other women acute mental agony like her own.
She held out her hand.
"Please don’t cry, Dora. There’s more in this than you know. I’ve got
to think things out. Be quiet for a minute, dear."
On the face of it it was a small thing Miss Beadon was asking, merely
that Evelyn should make a point of accompanying her to the last reunion
that night in Hare’s rooms before he left town. Evelyn had already
accepted the invitation tentatively, meaning only to go if she heard
that Farquharson would not be present. At large parties they were able
to avoid each other easily. They had never been much together in public.
But at so small and intimate a gathering as this—Hare was expecting only
ten or twelve people—they must infallibly be thrown together and meet as
though things were on the old footing, before their bitter-sweet secret
had drawn them near.
But now Dora had come to demand Evelyn’s help, and she was made to
confront the very thought which she most dreaded. Dora wanted to marry
Farquharson. Evelyn shut her eyes and tried to think what life would be
under such changed conditions. If the idea was no longer new, it was
none the less terrible. Spiritual forces may be called up to battle
with many foes successfully, but there are times when spiritual forces
fail, when foes from within, the very roots of our nature, take arms
against us. It seemed to Evelyn at that moment that the civil war
within her was sapping the very life in her body. She could have stood
aside to watch Farquharson rise higher and higher, alone, unhampered,
even although every step took him further from her, but how could she
bear to see him live his life out with another woman, reaping the small
domestic joys, gathering in time, perhaps, even the perfect fruit of the
tree of life?
"Thou shalt ask and not obtain." The words came back to her. This was,
perhaps, what God demanded of her, the penalty for having come near sin.
Daily crucifixion—not a mere seven hours agony, but one which would
endure to her life’s end.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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