Father Tom and the Pope : $b Or, a night in the VaticanFerguson, Samuel
Religion
Father Tom and the Pope : $b Or, a night in the Vatican
Ferguson, Samuel
Catholic Church -- Fiction; Christian fiction; Clergy -- Fiction; Popes -- Fiction
"There's a dog that knows his duty," says his Riv'rence; "there's a
baste that knows how to conduct himself aither in the parlor or the
field. You think him a good dog, looking at him here; but I wisht you
seen him on the side ov Slieve-an-Eirin! Be my soul, you'd say the hill
was running away from undher him. Oh I wisht you had been wid me," says
he, never letting on to see the dog at all, "one day, last Lint, that I
was coming from mass. Spring was near a quarther ov a mile behind me,
for the childher was delaying him wid bread and butther at the chapel
door; when a lump ov a hare jumped out ov the plantations ov Grouse
Lodge and ran acrass the road; so I gave the whilloo, and knowing that
she'd take the rise ov the hill, I made over the ditch, and up through
Mullagheashel as hard as I could pelt, still keeping her in view, but
afore I had gone a perch, Spring seen her, and away the two went like
the wind, up Drumrewry, and down Clooneen, and over the river, widout
his being able ons't to turn her. Well, I run on till I came to the
Diffagher, and through it I went, for the wather was low and I didn't
mind being wet shod, and out on the other side, where I got up on a
ditch, and seen sich a coorse as I'll be bound to say was never seen
afore or since. If Spring turned that hare ons't that day, he turned
her fifty times, up and down, back and for'ard throughout and about.
At last he run her right into the big quarryhole in Mullaghbawn, and
when I went up to look for her fud, there I found him sthretched on his
side, not able to stir a foot, and the hare lying about an inch afore
his nose as dead as a door-nail, and divil a mark ov a tooth upon her.
Eh, Spring, isn't that thrue?" says he. Jist at that minit the clock
sthruck twelve, and, before you could say thrap-sticks, Spring had the
plateful ov mate consaled. "Now," says his Riv'rence, "hand me over my
pound, for I've won my bate fairly."
"You'll excuse me," says the Pope, pocketing his money, "for we put the
clock half an hour back, out ov compliment to your Riv'rence," says he,
"and it was Sathurday morning afore he came up at all."
"Well, it's no matther," says his Riv'rence, putting back his
pound-note in his pocket-book, "only," says he, "it's hardly fair
to expect a brute baste to be so well skilled in the science ov
chronology."
In troth his Riv'rence was badly used in the same bate, for he won
it clever; and, indeed, I'm afraid the shabby way he was thrated had
some effect in putting it into his mind to do what he did. "Will your
Holiness take a blast ov the pipe?" says he, dhrawing out his dhudeen.
"I never smoke," says the Pope, "but I haven't the laste objection to
the smell ov the tobaccay."
"Oh, you had better take a dhraw," says his Riv'rence, "it'll relish
the dhrink, that 'ud be too luscious entirely, widout something to
flavor it."
"I had thoughts," said the Pope, wid the laste sign ov a hiccup on him,
"ov getting up a broiled bone for the same purpose."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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