It is an actual relief to many, this repose of attention, this
extinction of the will which steals over us in the midst of life’s
troubles, lifting the burden of care and allowing us to contemplate
quietly the curious spectacle which, when left to itself, the brain at
work presents. How rapidly things and thoughts are transformed, melting
into each other without order, aim, or pause! How easily we glide by
winding paths through time and space, while in endless succession new
horizons and new countries rise before us! What airy phantoms look
down from the clouds above, what voices and harmonies strike the ear
in the waterfalls of the brooks, what living pictures peer at us from
amongst the flowers and grasses on the bank! Then suddenly a flood of
memories rushes over us and leaves us confused, bewildered, as it rolls
on again to the dim horizon of consciousness. And in this rushing flood
of thoughts and forms we see the familiar faces of those whom the grave
seems to give back to us, and we hasten to meet them with smiling lips
or with tears in our eyes.
II
And yet these are nought but dreams of the waking mind. Even when the
force of attention and the energy of thought are greater, we still are
carried away by the wilful, untamable current of cerebral activity;
because the will can do nothing within the domain of the imagination,
and because the brain is no slave who will obey our very nod. Who does
not remember the painful and useless endeavours made to rid oneself of
an annoying thought and that incapacity for mental work which afflicts
us, without our knowing whence it came? How often have we sat for
hours at the desk, with idle pen, our head in our hands, unable to
wrest even one thought from the mind which we dared transmit to paper!
How depressed we are on those days when the sources of the mind seem
dried up, when we torture ourselves in vain, ransacking our brains
and finding nothing but fragments, crumbs of thought which we reject
angrily as worthless refuse!
We must resign ourselves. We feel ourselves humbled as though the door
of our own house had been shut in our face. It is of no use to be sad
and annoyed; even if we give way to furious passion, it does not help
us. We stand behind a high wall which we cannot break down. An English
physiologist compared the thinking man to a simple engine-driver. He
does not move the trains, neither does he determine their departure or
their stoppage, he merely guides their movement, directing them first
in one direction then in another.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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