If this were C-deck, the deck immediately above must perforce be B-deck? Thus I reasoned, and thus was I correct, as speedily transpired. Pausing only to gather up my effects and to make my excuses to sundry impatient and grumbling voyagers who had packed themselves in the cross-hall beyond, while I was consulting my ticket, I journeyed upward to B-deck. Upon coming to No. 34, and again finding the key in the door and the door unlatched, I entered as before. [Illustration: "I," SHE SAID "AM MAJOR JONES"] This time it was a female voice which brought me to an instantaneous standstill. For the instant I could not see the owner of the voice--the previously-mentioned steamer rug being in the way--but the challenge conveyed by her tone was unmistakable. "Who are you and what do you want?" Thus was I addressed. Before replying, I sought to comply with the conventionalities of the occasion by doffing my hat. The difficulties of removing a hat with a hand which holds at the moment an umbrella and a small portmanteau can only be appreciated by one who has attempted the experiment. I succeeded, it is true, in baring my head, but knocked off my glasses and precipitated my steamer rug and a package of books to the floor, where my hat had already fallen. Lacking the aid of my glasses, my vision is defective, but I was able to make out the form of a lady of mature years, and plainly habited, who confronted me at a distance of but a pace or two. "Pray forgive me," I said hastily, "pray forgive me, Madam. I was under the impression that this was stateroom B-34." "It is," she answered in a manner which but served to increase my perturbation. "What of it?" "Nothing," I said, "nothing--except that there must be some mistake. I was given to understand that I was to occupy B-34, sharing it with a Major Jones, a military gentleman, I assume." "I," she said, "am Major Jones." To a statement so astounding I could only respond by confusedly saying, "Oh, Madam! Oh, Madam!" "Major Maggie J. Jones, of the Salvation Army," she continued. "Probably I made the original mistake by not letting the steamship people know that a Major may be a woman." "Madam," I said, "I beseech you to remain calm and make no outcry. I shall at once withdraw."