Pop gave him his only daughter, HUM PICKETY WIMPLE TIP: FRED vowed that if over the water He went, in an English ship, He’d make her his Queen,—though truly It is an unusual thing For a Caribbee brat who’s as black as your hat To be wife of an English King. And all the Canoodle-Dummers They copied his rolling walk, His method of draining rummers, His emblematical talk. For his dress and his graceful breeding, His delicate taste in rum, And his nautical way, were the talk of the day In the Court of Canoodle-Dum. CALAMITY POP most wisely Determined in everything To model his Court precisely On that of the English King; And ordered that every lady And every lady’s lord Should masticate jacky (a kind of tobaccy), And scatter its juice abroad. They signified wonder roundly At any astounding yarn, By darning their dear eyes roundly (’T was all they had to darn). They “hoisted their slacks,” adjusting Garments of plantain-leaves With nautical twitches (as if they wore breeches, Instead of a dress like EVE’S!) They shivered their timbers proudly, At a phantom forelock dragged, And called for a hornpipe loudly Whenever amusement flagged. “Hum! Golly! him POP resemble, Him Britisher sov’reign, hum! CALAMITY POP VON PEPPERMINT DROP, De King of Canoodle-Dum!” The mariner’s lively “Hollo!” Enlivened Canoodle’s plain (For blessings unnumbered follow In Civilization’s train). But Fortune, who loves a bathos, A terrible ending planned, For ADMIRAL D. CHICKABIDDY, C.B., Placed foot on Canoodle land! That rebel, he seized KING GOWLER, He threatened his royal brains, And put him aboard the _Howler_, And fastened him down with chains. The _Howler_ she weighed her anchor, With FREDERICK nicely nailed, And off to the North with WILLIAM THE FOURTH These horrible pirates sailed. CALAMITY said (with folly), “Hum! nebber want him again— Him civilize all of us, golly! CALAMITY suck him brain!” The people, however, were pained when They saw him aboard his ship, But none of them wept for their FREDDY, except HUM PICKETY WIMPLE TIP. THE MARTINET. SOME time ago, in simple verse I sang the story true Of CAPTAIN REECE, the _Mantelpiece_, And all her happy crew. I showed how any captain may Attach his men to him, If he but heeds their smallest needs, And studies every whim. Now mark how, by Draconic rule And _hauteur_ ill-advised, The noblest crew upon the Blue May be demoralized. When his ungrateful country placed Kind REECE upon half-pay, Without much claim SIR BERKELY came, And took command one day.